


this is how it’s meant to be

by an_expensive_imagination



Category: Gossip Girl (TV 2007)
Genre: But Like...Not Happy, Dair Family Endgame, Dan and Nate Are Best Bros, Eventual Serenate, F/M, Minor Chair and Derena, Serena and Blair Becoming Real Friends Again, Slow Burn, dan is not gossip girl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:07:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 23,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23497237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/an_expensive_imagination/pseuds/an_expensive_imagination
Summary: Chuck buys Henry his first bowtie and a three-piece purple suit to match.Dan buys Henry his first baseball glove and comes over every Friday afternoon to play catch.Blair watches them play together and keeps thinking back to when she'd asked Dan if he didn't think it would matter that her baby was another man's child so many years ago.She remembers how, in that much too earnest way of his, he'd said, "It wouldn't to me."
Relationships: Dan Humphrey/Blair Waldorf
Comments: 167
Kudos: 498





	1. I don't think anyone has ever loved anyone the way I loved you

**Author's Note:**

> 2020 and I’m still not over Dair.

“ _I should have taken more pictures with Dan_ ,” Blair thinks.

It's an odd thought to be having right now, sitting in front of her packed suitcase and contemplating the future, but there it is anyway.

Somewhere in the shelves downstairs there are entire photo albums meticulously documenting her relationship with Nate, from middle school all the way through high school. In the back of her closet, there's 3 boxes filled with polaroids and crappy disposable camera pictures of her and Serena growing up. There are plenty of public photographs of her and Chuck throughout the years. Not to mention that the entirety of her courtship with Louis was immortalized by the paparazzi on every possible gossip rag.

But looking through her phone right now, she only has one picture with Dan; the one she'd sent Serena that day at the Upright Citizen's Brigade. 

She wishes she had more. 

(Of course she does. When doesn't Blair Waldorf want _more_?)

She's pulled out of her thoughts by Serena appearing at their bathroom door asking, "What, now you're moving out, too?"

"I thought I told you to get out." Blair means to be harsh, but it comes out flat. "Why are you still here?"

Serena holds her hands up in surrender, a peace gesture. "I just came to pack the rest of my things." She walks over and stands in front of Blair. "And to talk, I guess. Look, I did something..."

Blair scoffs at hearing that. "What more could you possibly do to me this week?"

"It's more like what I tried to do." Serena's doing that thing where she can't quite meet Blair's eyes, which never means anything good. "Um, I got Penelope to distract you from making it to the Shepherd party. I wanted to get Dan alone. And drunk. I was going to film us and..." Her voice trails off and she shakes her head. "Anyway, it didn't work. He didn't let it get anywhere." Her voice becomes smaller when she says, "He chose _you_ , Blair. Without hesitation. So you win." 

When they finally make eye contact, Serena expects Blair to react somehow - yell, kick, scream, _something_.

Instead, Blair's lips quirk into a sad smile. "Look around, S. Does it really look like anyone's won here?"

And as scary as Blair is when she's angry, nothing unnerves Serena more than seeing her like this. It's as if all the fight has gone out of her. "What happened tonight, Blair?" 

Blair wonders if she should lie or avoid the question, but she realizes there's no point at this juncture.

( _Damn it_ , Dan really did have an effect on her.)

"I went over to the Empire and I told Chuck I still loved him."

Serena sits down next to her, both staring straight ahead now. She takes a minute to think about what to say, but nothing comes to mind other than, "How’d that go over?"

"The way it always does with us." Blair shrugs a shoulder. "I make myself vulnerable and he finds just the right words to tear me down to size. I suppose turnabout is fair play."

"B..." Serena's at a loss for words. She usually is when it comes to Chuck and Blair. She reaches for Blair's hand and gives it a squeeze.

Blair doesn't return it, instead the pulls her hand free and knits her fingers together in her lap. "Dan's not talking to me. He won't answer my texts or calls or emails. If I knew where to fax him, I would've tried that, too. But I have a feeling a heartfelt fax wouldn't have gotten a reply either." She clears her throat. "Chuck was spotted in Monte Carlo with Jack. Off doing something stupid, no doubt."  
  
For a second Serena thinks about proposing another escape for them.

They can go off together somewhere new like...Spain or Australia, somewhere they've never been together before. But looking at Blair right now, Serena knows there will be no running away this summer. 

At least not with each other.

"So what will it be," Serena asks, "Rome with Dan or Monte Carlo with Chuck?"

It's hard to tell which one of them is more surprised when Blair answers with another question. "What do you think I should do?"

Serena thinks it over for a few minutes before she answers. 

What is it that doctors swear in their oath? To do no harm? That's what she wants now, to do no harm. She is so tired of the way all the people she loves spend their time hurting each other. She knows she’s no exception, she has a talent for entropy just as much as the rest of them. But she’s ready to stop now, she thinks. 

“If you go to Rome right now, will it truly be Dan? Can you let go of Chuck, regardless of whatever mess he ends up getting himself into? Because Dan made his choice, time and again - he only wants you. If you can't go to him, ready to do the same, then you shouldn't go at all." She bites her lip, wondering if she should say more. "But, B., that doesn't mean you should go to Monte Carlo. It's not either/or here. And it is not your job to fix Chuck. It never has been." 

After what feels like forever, Blair stands up and smooths her dress with her hands. "I should go," she says. "I have a red eye to catch."

Serena stands up, too. "What are you gonna do, B.?"

"You’re right. I can't go to Rome unless I'm ready to be done with Chuck. Dan doesn't deserve that. I can't be the one to put him through that." 

Jesus Christ, is her voice actually _cracking_ right now? Pull it together, Waldorf. 

"Chuck is going to need me."

Normally they would hug goodbye, maybe Serena would go see Blair off at the airport. It's clear that neither is going to happen right now.

"I'll pack up my stuff," Serena says instead. "I'll be all moved out by the time you come back." 

The weight of all the things she doesn’t say sits heavy on her shoulders: When will you be back? Do you really want me gone? Are we too far gone to repair? Do you really think it’s healthy to go after Chuck?

A part of Serena wants Blair to stop her, to tell her that she doesn't need to leave, that they can figure things out. They can make up like they've done time and again in the past. 

A part of Blair wants to do just that. But there's no going back, not now. "I think that would be for the best." 

* * *

  
Dan only lasts a little over a week in Italy. 

He tells Rufus that it's because the fellowship isn’t the right fit - he wasn't up to writing anything new right now, he was lacking inspiration, he'd barely had a hand in the editing and publication of _Inside_ and he's finding he's not particularly proud of it as a whole.

He tells Jenny the truth: everything in Rome reminds him of Blair.

Despite the fact that they never made it there together, he sees her _everywhere_ \- in the museums they'd planned to visit together, in the bookstores she'd promised he'd love, in every store she'd wanted to shop at, every hotel she planned for them to stay, every restaurant she picked for them to try in the meticulously color coordinated schedule she'd started for their trip.

Jenny is surprisingly sympathetic considering she never much cared for her big brother dating _Blair Waldorf_ of all people. She tells him to forget New York for the summer, invites him to London and promises him the couch in her apartment. It's an interesting offer, but Dan declines.

Instead, a little over 11 hours later, Dan arrives at Paris Gare de Lyon.

He's not entirely sure why he picks Paris of all places. He had once planned to come here for the summer, during another one of his misguided attempts to win over Serena, but that plan fell through. So maybe this summer can be his do-over. 

Or maybe he’s always loved the Lost Generation a little too much. Either way, regardless of why, he's finally here.

And if it's good enough for Fitzgerald and Hemingway...

* * *

Dan stays in a pretty decent Air B&B near la Sorbonne and spends his days mostly reading and exploring the city. The art, culture and food are all amazing and he quickly grows addicted to the coffee. He carries a moleskine and a pen in his back pocket in case inspiration strikes him for a new story, but mostly he just journals random bits about his trip.

He's sitting at an outdoor table at his favorite cafe reading _1Q84_ when a girl invites herself to join him. She's blonde (but not as blonde as Serena, and he hates the part of his brain that automatically makes the comparison) and she rattles off at a mile a minute, very apologetic about just sitting down with him out of the blue like this, but also making herself comfortable, setting down her bag and stack of textbooks, amongst other things.

"And I haven't even introduced myself yet! I'm Taylor Townsend," she finally takes a breath mid-ramble and extends a hand.

Dan smiles despite himself and shakes her hand. "Dan Humphrey," he says. "You're more than welcome to share the table. I'm just catching up on some reading."

Taylor Townsend is finishing her thesis at la Sorbonne. She introduces Dan to Asian cinema and takes him to her favorite bookstores. Dan always saves her a seat when he go gets coffee and proofreads her work whenever she asks him to. 

It is, as they say in the movies, the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

* * *

Summer comes to a close much faster than Dan ever expected it to. He's walking along the Seine when he realizes that he does not want to go back to New York. The realization hits him like a ton of bricks. Nothing is waiting for him back home. He hasn't checked Gossip Girl in over two months, but he's sure Blair ran back into Chuck's arms.

The only thing that gives him pause is NYU. His senior year starts soon and, against all odds, he's only a few credits away from graduating. He wants to see it through. Much to his surprise, it's Taylor who offers him a solution.   
  
"I can pull some strings at la Sorbonne," Taylor suggests. "You can finish out the semester here. Take some time before you have to face the music back home.”

And so, Dan stays in Paris for six more months. 

* * *

Dan arrives back in New York unannounced. He takes a cab to the loft and plans to lie low for the night before calling his dad to tell him he’s officially home.

To say he’s surprised to walk into the loft and find Serena in the living room, Spice Girls blasting from a set of Beats speakers on the kitchen counter, as she dances on top of the couch wearing just her underwear and an old Constance t-shirt, is the mother of all understatements.

Upon spotting him, Serena loses her footing and falls on her ass, graceful enough to at least land on the cushions. She fumbles with her phone and pauses the music.

Suddenly, the apartment feels too quiet.

They stare at each other for a beat and then Dan snorts. _Loudly_. He laughs so hard he turns bright red and doubles over. It’s contagious, so a second later Serena’s laughing, too. Dan tosses his bags aside and plops down on the couch next to her, still shaking with laughter, trying to settle down.

When they both stop, Serena looks at him and flashes him one of her ethereal smiles. “You came back! I wasn’t sure you ever would.” 

Her tone is too soft and warm, and it makes Dan smile. “Felt like it was time,” he offers with a shrug. 

Serena sighs and knots her hands together in her lap. “I owe you about a hundred apologies for everything that happened last year.”

“Well, a blanket apology will do,” Dan says with a grin. “Seriously, I just...I wanna put last year behind me. I can let it go if you can.”

Serena extends a hand to him. “Deal!”

“Deal.” They shake on it and it feels good, like something resolved. “Now what are you doing here? Besides ruining my covert arrival back into the city.”

“Well...” Serena catches him up on everything.

After moving from Blair’s, Serena realized she had nowhere to go. So she went home. A few days later, Rufus came back. It was good because Serena missed the killer breakfasts and Lily seemed to have found her center with him by her side again. 

After a week of wallowing and realizing she had no current life plan, Serena talked to Rufus and asked if she could have the loft for the summer. Brooklyn was something new and also somewhere to hide. 

She took up jogging, devoured all the trashy beach reads she’d been meaning to read but never actually got around to, watched so many movies and shows on Netflix, got a job as a barista (that one didn’t last long) and then as a bike messenger (that one lasted even less) and then as a nude model for an art class (that one lasted the longest but it got boring fast).

“So you’ve just been hiding out here for the last 8 months?”

Serena shrugs. “I don’t know. I feel like I really lost myself last year. Which is really starting to become a recurring theme for me, but that’s another discussion. I don’t know what I want to do with my life and I don’t want to keep jumping into the first thing that pops up just to see if it fits. So I came here to hit the pause button and try to figure out what my next step should be.”

A sharp knock on the door interrupts their conversation.

“You expecting company?” Dan makes a move to answer the door, but Serena stops him.

“Just my minder,” she says. “It’s open!”

Nate walks in, sleeves of his shirt rolled up to his elbows and a very expensive tie hanging undone around his neck, with a bottle of scotch in one hand and a bag full of Chinese take-out in the other. He does a double take then grins at the sight. "Dan, you're back!" The two friends hug, patting each other on the back, and they all settle down in the living room to eat and talk.

Catching up on everyone and everything is surprisingly fast. Dan is back to graduate from NYU. Stories from his time in Paris are vague, but it's obvious that it was a much needed breather from the city. Rufus and Lily are still going strong, which is great news. Bart Bass is dead. (For sure this time, everyone double and triple checked.) Chuck and Blair got officially married. In a quickie ceremony by the Bethesda Fountain in Central Park after which they were promptly arrested and then quickly released. Bart Bass' death was ruled an accident.

But the most shocking is when Nate casually announces, "I gave _The Spectator_ back to Grandfather. Signed the papers today, so as of 8 p.m. tonight, I am officially unemployed."

" _Dude_!" Serena gapes.

"You _what_?" Dan stares at him long enough that the scotch he's pouring overflows from the glass.

Nate laughs, tossing him a towel. " _Jeez_ , man, pull yourself together," he says with a grin. "No reason to waste good liquor."

"I'm sorry, I'm just...a little shellshocked right now. You just gave up _The Spectator_?"

Serena appears more stunned than even Dan. "To your Grandfather?"

"I was _this_ close to doctoring the numbers at _The Spectator_ ," Nate holds his thumb and forefinger less than an inch apart, "just to keep it afloat a little longer. And then I realized, holy shit, this is _exactly_ what my father would have done. Look, there's a million reasons why things went sideways with the paper, but the simplest explanation is this: I dropped out of Columbia before I graduated and I dove headfirst into a business I had no idea how to run. Frankly, I'm surprised I lasted as long as I did."

Dan walks over and plops down next to Nate on the couch. "That's...a lot of introspection, man." He hands out the glasses and they all take a long gulp. "So what's next for Nate Archibald?"

"I'm going back to Columbia. It's all arranged." Nate shrugs, "I'll graduate a year later than I was supposed to, but at least I'll get there." He turns to Serena then. "And I talked to the Dean. She said if you wanted to re-enroll, there's still time."

Serena snorts. " _Seriously_?"

"Why not?" Nate's grinning at her, shoving her shoulder playfully. "Look, these last two years we all got to so caught up chasing dreams that were never even ours. College was supposed to be about finding ourselves. Instead, I feel like we lost sight of ourselves completely. C'mon, S." He prompts, "You and me, it'll be an adventure. Dan, back me up here, dude."

Dan smiles. "Nate's right," he agrees. "It'll be good for you both. And, since I expect you both cheering me on at my graduation at the end of this semester, it would be nice to be able to return the favor."

Looking at the encouraging smiles from her boys, Serena can’t find an argument against the idea so she just shrugs. “Why not?" 

Any plan is better than no plan. They cheers until they finish their scotch. Then they keep going until the whole bottle is gone. They eat the Chinese take out, order a pizza and finish the half eaten cartons of ice-cream in the fridge. 

"Can I crash here?" Nate asks, from his spot on the floor. 

Dan laughs. "I don't even know if _I_ can crash here," he says. "Serena's running things at the Humphrey loft now."

Serena beams at them. "I've been crashing in Rufus' old room. Your man-cave is still intact," she tells Dan before nudging Nate with her foot. "You can always crash with me, Natie."

* * *

Serena wakes up a little before noon to several missed calls from her mother. She’s officially late for brunch. There's a family meeting at the van der Humphrey penthouse to celebrate some big announcement.

So Serena gets dressed and wakes up the boys, demanding they be her date for brunch. She ignores their protests and tells them to get dressed because she is not taking no for an answer. 

Nate and Dan agree because neither has ever been particularly good at saying no to Serena. 

“Mom, Rufus,” Serena calls out when they arrive. She stands between Dan and Nate, one arm linked with each of them. “I brought a surprise!”

The surprise of Dan’s return ends up taking a backseat to the fact that Chuck and Blair are at brunch with news of their own: they’re having a baby. 

There’s champagne and Chuck passes out cigars, and Dan goes in a straight line for the drinks cart because he needs something stronger than champagne right now. 

“You came back.” Blair approaches him cautiously, pretending to refill a still mostly full glass of sparkling cider.

Has she really not seen or heard a peep from him in six months? It’s too long, it feels too surreal, to have him here today when she’s making this announcement.   
  
Dan grips his glass of scotch tighter, like it’s a lifeline. “Congratulations.” He can’t even bring himself to look at her. 

Blair nods to herself, quietly accepting that this is how it’s going to be now. “Thank you, Humphrey.”

She wants more, of course she does. But she realizes she shouldn’t ask anything more from him.

* * *

They don’t talk much (read: _at all_ ) after that. 

Sure, Dan keeps seeing pictures of Blair (and Chuck, always with Chuck) in every newspaper and magazine in the city, but he still avoids Gossip Girl entirely. He hears frequent reports from Lily on how the pregnancy is going, how excited the parents-to-be are. He’ll occasionally catch random bits from whatever Serena lets spill about their dates.

Nate, on the other hand, brings expensive bottles of liquor and copious amounts of weed, and offers to talk about anything but Blair and Chuck. Dan has never appreciated him more.

Life carries on, as it always does. 

* * *

Dan moves into his old bedroom at the loft. By now, Serena has made Rufus’ old room into her own, and so they become reluctant roommates. 

Strangely enough, the arrangement works. Especially with Nate making frequent visits bearing food and alcohol. 

Dan finishes his last semester at NYU without any major problems. He writes a few pieces for Washington Square News during the semester and by the time graduation rolls around, he’s got enough freelancing gigs to get by after college. 

On the other hand, Nate and Serena start back at Columbia. Somehow, despite having the Empire penthouse all to himself, Nate ends up spending most nights crashing on the van der Humphrey loft. It’s an odd trio, Nate and Serena and Dan. They’re certainly not the Non-Judging Breakfast Club. But they settle into a routine easily enough, and the Three Musketeers has a good ring to it, too. 

Nate declares a psych major and does surprisingly well in all his core classes. Serena declares a new major every other month, and it’s only by chance that she doesn’t amass enough credits to satisfy a general studies major. 

* * *

On the day of Dan’s college graduation, he’s presented with his very own trust fund. 

It’s too much and it’s completely out of the blue and he tells Lily in no uncertain terms that he does not want it. 

“This isn’t a big deal. You’re graduating college, you’ll have expenses. Serena and Eric have theirs, and now you have yours.”

“ _Lily_ ,” Dan says through gritted teeth, “I don’t want it.”

“ _Daniel_ ,” Lily deadpans, “you’ve always had it. It was simply your father’s idea to wait until your graduation to give it to you.”

Rufus runs a hand through his hair and sighs. “Dan, this is a nice gesture Lil is making here,” he says. “Family makes sure you’re taken care of, and we _are_ a family. You don’t have to spend it if you don’t want to.”

Lily grabs Rufus’ hand and gives it a squeeze. “I respect your mother, Daniel, and you know I have no desire to take her place, but you’re my son, too. This is how I honor that.”

Because he can tell that Lily and his father won’t budge, that this is clearly some sort of ‘welcome to the family’ gesture, Dan reluctantly accepts and says thank you. 

_I’m a fucking trust fund kid now_ , he thinks. Dan Humphrey, who’d have ever thought it...

Anyways, it’s his graduation day and he doesn’t want another argument. Besides, everyone’s there and it’s the first time in a long time that they do feel like a family - Erik writes **_NOTHING HATES U_** on top of his mortar board and Jenny does his tie in a double-Windsor knot and Serena sneaks in a bottle of champagne that she sprays everyone with. When Nate shows up late, he brings a joint that they all pass around without Rufus and Lily noticing. 

It’s a good day. 

* * *

Here’s what Dan never knows: there, sitting in the back row, is Blair. She’s dressed way down; she’s always been very adept at keeping a low profile when she needs to. She’d told Chuck she had a meeting at Waldorf Designs, but the simple truth is this: she couldn’t not be there to applaud Dan on his graduation day. 

While she’s spent the last 6 months pointedly avoiding asking about Dan, that hasn’t stopped her from tracking his every mention on Gossip Girl and picking up whatever crumb of information Rufus and Lily drop about him during family brunch.

She’s happy now, she repeats this to herself constantly, like a little mantra, but she also...misses her best friend. 

* * *

It’s hard to say _why_ Dan and Serena end up together again. 

They’re drinking cheap wine and eating take out one night. Dan’s proofreading her paper on _A Prayer for Owen Meany_ and they’re having a good time together, like they used to, and then they’re kissing and then they’re in bed and just like that, they’re a couple again. 

”That’s great,” Nate says with a half-smile, congratulating them both. 

(And while they both notice how Nate’s visits to the loft become fewer and fewer until they stop altogether, neither one of them ever mentions it.)

* * *

On the surface, Blair and Serena are friends again.

Blair has photos from their rogue photoshoot lining up her office walls. Serena goes overboard planning the perfect baby shower. They decorate the nursery together. They do brunch dates once a week. 

But they never really talk about anything, there’s always a tension simmering just underneath the surface, like they’re one conversation away from shattering. 

So they go out to brunch and they go shopping, and they do an excellent job at pretending everything is just as it was before. 

They don’t talk about Chuck or Blair’s marriage. They never talk about Dan or Serena’s relationship. They both struggle not to choke on all the things they don’t say to each other. 

To quote Vonnegut, so it goes. 

* * *

  
It’s relatively easy to maintain the status quo until one day when Chuck suddenly has to go out of town on business. 

It'll be a quick trip, he promises, but Blair's due date is fast approaching and she doesn't want to be left alone.

So Serena and Nate work out a schedule with Blair so that there's always someone with her during the two weeks Chuck's gone. Blair synchronizes watches and color codes schedules and syncs everyone's iCalendars so the whole thing runs smoothly.

Of course it doesn't run smoothly. 

Serena and Nate get stuck pulling an all-nighter with a class project they'd both forgotten about until the very last minute. But it's okay, really. Serena has this well in hand.

While Serena and Nate hole up in Butler Library, Dan is to report at the penthouse for Blair Duty.

"Blair," Dan calls out, stepping out of the elevator and into the Waldorf/Bass penthouse. "Um, Serena called me. She and Nate are stuck at school, so she sent me over.”

Blair appears then, already breathing heavily. “Humphrey, my water just broke.”

“ _Oh, fuck_...” 

* * *

This feels surreal.

The last time Dan was in a birthing suite was when Milo was born and he thought he was going to be a father. Now he's here with Blair while she's in labor with Chuck's baby, and _no one is here_. He's called and texted Chuck repeatedly, but the best he can hope for is that the lack of reply means he's on a plane home. Nate and Serena had said they were rushing to the hospital, but still hadn't arrived. Now the anesthesiologist is saying that things are progressing rapidly and it's too late for an epidural and _how_ did he end up here?

He reaches for his phone and heads towards the door when he feels her nails digging into the skin of his forearm. "Dan!" 

Blair's eye are wide with fear and she's paler than he's ever seen her, and he can practically feel the desperation dripping from her voice. "Don't leave. I need you. _Please_."

Dan blinks. He doesn't think he's ever heard Blair Waldorf say please like this before.

"Alright.” Dan takes her hand and gives it a squeeze. "Whatever you need, I got you."

At hearing this, it's like a dam burts and Blair starts sobbing: out of fear and nerves and also pain because the contractions are really coming in fast now.

Dan can't help himself, he's never been able to see her cry without needing to comfort her. 

(A little voice in the back of his head wonders if it'll always be like this with them, if he'll run to her whenever she needs him for the rest of his life. But he ignores the thought, knowing he's better off not knowing the answer.)

So Dan wraps his arms around her and pulls Blair into his chest. "I'll be here with you every step of the way." He rubs circles on her back, hugging her tight. "But you can do this."

A nurse walks in to check on Blair and tells them that it's almost time to push. Dan goes with her to get changed into a pair of scrubs. He's back at her side immediately, holding her hand, rubbing her back, telling her how to breathe through it.

He's done this before, after all.

* * *

Despite every instinct telling him not to, Dan peeks and see that the head and shoulders are already out.

_Holy shit_.

"One more big push, Blair, come on," Dan encourages, letting her squeeze his hands as hard as she wants. He's actually pretty sure she's drawn blood with her nails digging into him, but he can’t really feel it right now. "He's almost here."

Blair is already beyond exhausted. How do women do this? "I can't...Dan, I..."

"Look at me, look at me," Dan says, getting her to focus on him. "Yes, you can. Okay, one more push and you can meet your baby. Just one more. You can do this, sweetheart, come on."

And with one more push, the baby's out. It's a boy and he's crying very loudly, which Blair figures is a good sign.

"You did it, you did it," Dan keeps repeating with the biggest smile ever. "You were incredible, Blair."

They're both tearing up as they watch him get checked out. The baby gets a 10/10 APGAR score, and of course Blair Waldorf's son would enter this world making straight A's.

"Want to do the honors?" A nurse holding a pair of scissors asks Dan, gesturing towards the baby's umbilical cord.

"Uh," Dan cuts his eyes towards Blair, silently asking if that's too much overstepping. Blair only smiles and nods. 

It's the second time Dan's cut a baby's umbilical cord, and the irony of the fact that neither baby has been his isn't lost on him right now.

Then the nurse places the baby on Blair's chest. He's tiny and red and covered in stuff Dan doesn't even want to think about, but he's amazing. And Blair is amazing. Her hair's a mess and she's covered in sweat and Dan simply cannot stop staring because he's pretty sure she's never been more beautiful than she is right now.

The nurses take the baby away to clean him up. Blair protests, but they promise they'll do it in the room and then he's all hers again. She scoots over as best as she can and Dan sits next to her. 

"That was..." He's smiling like an idiot and he can't stop staring at her in awe.

"I know." Blair's beaming back at him the same way.

There's so much to be said, by both of them, but then the nurse is back with the baby in her arms. "Daddy, do you want to hold your new baby boy?"

The words hit Dan like a wrecking ball and he immediately gets up. "I'm not..."

But Blair Waldorf doesn't crumble when faced with an awkward situation. "He's not the dad. But he _is_ the godfather," Blair says with a smile. "How about it, Humphrey? Want to hold your godson?"

Dan actually tears up at that. " _Yes_ ," he whispers, then clears his throat. "Yes. Absolutely."

* * *

  
Serena and Nate arrive at the hospital and run through the halls at a fevered pace, their hands entwined so it's hard to tell which one is pulling the other forward. They're lost amidst a fit of laughter and shrieking with excitement. They crash into the nurses' station desk, cheeks rosy and chests heaving.

"Hi! We're here for Blair Waldorf" - "Do you know what room Blair Waldorf's in?" - "I'm the aunt!" - "I'm the uncle!"

Their sentences collide and they're still giggling like children, but the nurse on duty seems to get the gist of it. She informs them that Mrs. Waldorf is already in her birthing suite and she's already in labor. She also lets them know that things progressed very quickly and there was no time to administer an epidural.

Serena turns serious immediately. "Okay. Okay. I need to get in there. I'm supposed to be her sub birthing coach if Chuck wasn't back in time. Blair can't be alone for this." She grabs Nate's arm and gives him a nervous squeeze before facing the nurse once more. "Uh, what do I do? Do I need to change?"

The nurse looks over some paperwork and shakes her head. "According to this, the daddy is already in there with her. You're both welcome to stay in the waiting room and I'll come get you when there's news."

* * *

Dan leans against the wall outside the birthing suite and crouches down, taking deep breaths. That just happened. Blair's a mom and her son is incredible. He can't believe he got to be here for this. 

Before he can process his feelings about it any further, Chuck, Serena and Nate come running down the hall. Dan stands up and waves them over. 

" _Humphrey_ ," Chuck struggles to catch his breath, "where is she? What's going on?"

"They're inside. They're both fine. Uh, the baby's amazing - 18 inches long, 8 pounds and 6 ounces, and mop of black hair. I just stepped out because the lactation consultant is speaking with Blair." Dan steps aside and it feels like it’s the hardest thing he’s ever had to do. "She's waiting for you."

Nate is grinning from ear to ear, thrilled at hearing all about his new nephew.

But Serena's looking at Dan, how he's beaming with pride as he tells them about how brave Blair was through the whole thing and how perfect the baby is and then he shows them pictures on his phone: the first time they placed the baby on Blair's chest, the baby all swaddled up, Dan sitting in bed with Blair while they craddle the baby together in their arms, Dan's first time holding the baby.

"Dude, this is... _wow_." Nate grins, handing the phone back to Dan. "Guys, Blair's a _mom_." He punches Dan's shoulder. "I can't believe you were in there for all of that."

Dan pockets his phone and nods, still smiling. "It was the most incredible thing I've ever seen."

"Can we go in?" Nate asks, gesturing towards the door. "I mean, I know she's with the lactation lady, but...we've all seen Blair's breasts, right?"

Dan chuckles, his hands moving to remove the scrub cap he still had on, his messy curls smushed down. "Um, I should go change," he says, suddenly realizing he's still wearing the hospital scrubs and booties. "Keep me posted if they need anything, okay?"

Serena watches him walk away as if he's still on cloud nine. Rationally, she knows that she has no reason to be mad at him right now. The only reason he'd gone over to Blair's tonight is because she'd asked him to. 

But the way Dan is right now, practically radiating joy and completely wonderstruck over both Blair and her son...he's _never_ looked at Serena like that. 

Not ever.

* * *

Something shifts when Henry is born. 

Before, Dan and Blair never interacted. In fact, Dan usually went out of his way to avoid being in close proximity to Blair whenever they were forced to be in the same room. Almost like they were repelling magnets.

After, it’s like Dan can’t stay away. He helps put together the crib and he gets there early for the welcome home party. In the Bass living room, there’s a framed picture of Dan and Serena beaming while they hold Henry at his baptism.

The most annoying part, Serena quickly realizes, is that she can’t even complain about it. 

What would she even say? That he’s being an attentive godfather? That he pays too much attention to their godson? That he’s too helpful towards her best friend while she’s struggling with being a first time mom? 

No, Dan is doing all the things Serena herself should be doing, so she doesn’t have it in her to complain about it. Specially when Dan is also being so supportive of her with her schoolwork and her indecision about what she actually wants to do with her life 

So she smiles and thanks him politely for the invitations to tag along whenever he has plans with Blair and Henry, but she always declines to go.

Something about seeing him with them always turns her stomach, and she avoids it whenever possible.

* * *

Four years pass by much faster than anyone expected. 

Dan publishes two more book to pretty decent reviews and starts working on a screenplay for possible production. 

Blair has stepped down from running the day-to-day things at Waldorf Designs, wanting to focus on being a full-time mother. 

It's hard to pinpoint how exactly Dan becomes a regular part of Blair’s life again. 

But regardless of how or when, his presence is a constant Blair is beyond thankful for. He’d shown up with baby books and Disney movies when Henry first came home, and he was there when she needed someone to talk to at 3 a.m. because Henry wouldn’t stop crying unless he was being rocked, and even now that Henry is about to turn five, he’s always there when she needs someone to drive them to a check up or a play date. 

Dan is with Serena, Blair always reminds herself. 

But he’s also, without fail, there for Henry. 

(It feels a little like he’s also there for Blair, but it’s only a feeling.)

* * *

Chuck buys Henry his first bowtie and a three-piece purple suit to match.

Dan buys Henry his first baseball glove and comes over every Friday afternoon to play catch.

Blair watches them play together and keeps thinking back to when she'd asked Dan if he didn't think it would matter that her baby was another man's child so many years ago.

She remembers how, in that much too earnest way of his, he'd said, " _It wouldn't to me._ "

* * *

In the end, it's something relatively trivial that causes the final explosion between Dan and Serena.

Dan forgets to meet Serena at a luncheon date because he gets caught up attending Henry's first official t-ball game. 

When he arrives at the loft, still wearing a team jersey and cap, he’s greeted by an irate Serena. 

She hurls insults and accusations and a few very expensive vases that Dan has to duck. Five years of resentments are spilling out of Serena and Dan is being hit by the tidal wave. 

"Just tell me the truth, Dan." Serena's tone is equal parts accusing and pleading. "It's _always_ been Blair. Even now that we've been together for years, it's still Blair. Since the Pink Party when you guys made your faux debut, it's been her. That torch you keep burning for her is so bright that I'm surprised you can even see me."

Dan runs his hands over his face. God, he is so tired of this. "I have _never_ cheated on you, never crossed the line - with Blair or with anyone else." He sighs in defeat. "What more do you want from me, Serena? I am here, I am in this, with you! Okay, when is it enough? What more do you possibly want from me?”

" _I want you to light up for me like you do for her,_ " Serena yells, her voice raw and desperate. "I want the corners of your lips to quirk up in an automatic smile whenever you hear my name. I want your eyes to twinkle with excitement when you see me from across a crowded room. I want to be the star of your stories again. I want you to laugh with me - throw your head back laughing like a little boy laughter. Okay, I want you to be as awed by the prospect of having a baby with me as you are about being there for Blair while she's having somebody else's son!"

It's such a low blow that Dan allows himself a hit below the belt as well. He licks his lips before he admits, "Since before the Pink Party, actually. Long before that. At least for me."

The slap isn't unexpected, but the way it stings is. Serena has never hit him quite this hard before. 

Dan stares back at her. " _What_? It's what you wanted to hear, isn't it?"

There’s some more yelling after that, so many small petty resentments that need to be thrown around before they both run out of steam. 

They’re sitting side by side on the kitchen floor, their backs resting against the cabinets, and all the fight has finally gone out of them. 

With a tired groan, Dan pulls out a Tiffany’s box out of jeans’ pocket and hands it over to Serena. 

“This is my grandmother’s ring,” she says after opening the velvet box. “Why do you have this?” 

Dan throws his head back and sighs. “Lily invited me to brunch last week, just the two of us. She sat me down and told me that it’s been long enough, that I needed to get serious and make things official with you. Then she gave me CeCe’s ring.”

“Were you actually gonna propose?”

“I don’t know.” Dan answers honestly because there’s no use in lying at this point. “Would you have said yes?”

“Probably. It would’ve been a mistake, though.” Serena answers honestly, too. 

Honesty is the least they can give each other right now.

“I took a pregnancy test last week - don’t worry, it was negative,” she’s quick to add when she sees the look on his face. “But I was standing in the bathroom, just waiting the clock out, and I kept thinking about how I would tell you. And that’s when it hit me - I didn’t _want_ to have to tell you. I didn’t want to say, ‘we’re gonna have a baby, Dan,’ and then look into your eyes and see that, even then, they weren’t as bright when you held Blair and Henry together for the first time.”

Dan knows they’re worthless words, but he says them anyways. “I never meant to hurt you, Serena.”

Serena smiles sadly. “I know.” She reaches for his hand and interlocks their fingers together, leaning down to rest her head on his shoulder. “We’re over right now. This is ending, for good this time. But I’m not sure I wanna let go just yet.” 

All the fight has gone out of them both and it suddenly hits them that they’re over, and whatever else they’re feeling, they’re sad.

Dan rests his head on top of hers. “You’re always going to be my family, Serena.” 

It’s a small comfort, but they both hold on to it because it gives them hope. That maybe things can settle into some semblance of normalcy after this. 


	2. and all the things I thought I was better than

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There’s never an easy choice with them, Dan realizes. Whether it’s to stay or to leave, to wait for her or to move on, it’s never easy and it always hurts. He wonders if it feels like that for her, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly the response to this has been wonderfully overwhelming. As I wasn’t expecting much of a response, I didn’t quite have this story finished. I’ve decided to split it into 3 parts. Also, this chapter delves into Chuck and Blair’s relationship so there’s some mentions of abuse.

Dan shows up at the Empire penthouse with a duffel bag filled with clothes and a few old paperbacks. 

Serena had offered to leave the loft as soon as they got off the kitchen floor and pulled themselves together. But it hadn’t felt right to Dan, to have her be the one to leave.

Ever since he’d come back from Paris, the loft had felt more like Serena’s space. For a second there, it had felt like _their_ space. But if he’s honest with himself, he can admit that the feeling was always fleeting. 

“I need a place to crash,” is how Dan greets Nate when he opens the door. 

Nate, of course, reacts like Nate - he gives him a copy of the spare key and sets him up in the extra bedroom. 

There are video games played and drinks poured and when Nate busts out his emergency stash of weed, Dan doesn’t object. They’re laying side by side on the pool table, each facing opposite directions and trading off the joint back-and-forth. 

“It’s over,” Dan says, “for good, this time.”

Nate takes a hit. “You okay, man?”

Dan reaches for the joint, sighs. “I haven’t been okay for a long time, I think,” he replies. “But this is what was supposed to happen, with Serena and me. It was supposed to be over between us a long time ago.”

They let the weight of that statement settle in for a while. Nate Archibald has become his his best friend, Dan realizes right then. The one he talks to the most, who never turns him away when he needs help, like when he suddenly finds himself without a place to live. 

It also occurs to him that he hasn’t been a particularly good friend in return. 

“I’m sorry, Nate,” Dan says, sitting up suddenly. “When I came back from Paris, you and Serena clearly had your own rhythm going. I’m sorry I stepped in it. _Again_. I know this apology is about four years too late, but I wanted to say it.”

Nate sits up, too, and reaches over to get the joint back. “Serena and I, we’re just...” he shakes his head. “The timing’s never right with us. But S. has always made her own choices, including four years ago.” He shrugs and takes a hit, says, “And it wasn’t me.” 

Dan wants to say then that he’s pretty sure a part of Serena has always loved Nate. That whatever it is that kept them together for these past few years, it certainly wasn’t love. But it’s not his place to speak for Serena, not anymore. Not ever, really. “You’re my best friend, Nate. I guess I just want you to know that I’m going to do better at being your friend from now on.”

Nate flashes him his best Golden Boy grin at that. “You know, you’re my best friend, too, dude,” he admits. “And you’re welcome to crash here for as long as you need to.”

They seal the friendship over beers and that’s that. 

* * *

Dan spends the rest of the week sleeping and drinking Nate’s liquor and wallowing - he grows a patch of scruff on his cheeks, lets his hair grow longer than it’s been in years, eats junk food on the couch and binge-watches Spanish shows on Netflix.

It’s not because he misses Serena, though he’d ever admit it quite that outright aloud; no, it’s more like he feels as if he’s thrown away four years of his life with nothing to show for it. It’s hard to tell what his next step should be from where he’s currently standing.   
  
Luckily, anyone who would normally force him off the couch and back to real life is otherwise occupied at the moment: Rufus and Lily are in Cabo, Jenny is back in London, Erik is busy with college and his new boyfriend, and Nate is focusing on his law school classes. 

So Dan smokes and drinks and sleeps and tries to put the world on pause. 

* * *

It’s Friday afternoon and Blair has spent most of the day pointedly not thinking about Dan.

Last Saturday morning, Serena had shown up with a bottle of wine and a box of macaroons.

“Dan and I broke up,” she’d announced with the saddest smile Blair had ever seen on her. 

Blair had reacted accordingly: she’d poured the wine and let her cry on her shoulder and asked her if she was okay. Serena refused to be prolific, which was par for the course at this point. They’d never talked about her relationship with Dan, not since they’d gotten together. It made sense then, that they wouldn’t start now that they’d broken up. 

“What happened, S?”

“It just...” Serena says on a sigh, “wasn’t right.”

Still, Blair sees the unspoken accusation in Serena’s blue eyes. _You happened_ , they seem to say. 

Blair blinks, reaching over to squeeze her hand. _I’ve never tried to take him from you_ , her own eyes answer. 

There hadn’t been much to say after that, so they finished the bottle and Serena left, promising to keep in touch and not hit the self-destruct button. 

Truthfully, Blair hadn’t expected to hear from Dan after that, not really. They barely ever talked over the phone, unless they were discussing something regarding Henry or if he picked up when she called Serena. 

No, usually when they spoke it was in person, at whatever brunch or family gathering Lily hosted or any activity of Henry’s or at any of Nate’s social events. 

And _yet_...a part of her had been expecting his call after Serena had told her about the break up. 

* * *

When it’s ten minutes past twelve, Dan walks into the house like he always does. This is routine by now, him showing up every Friday afternoon to play catch with Henry. 

(Still, a little piece of Blair wondered if he wouldn’t show today. If his breaking up with Serena meant that he’d break up with Henry as well.)

Dan has his baseball glove tucked in his back pocket and a Pirates cap atop his head. He starts to belt out _Take Me Out to the Ballgame_ and Henry rushes in, running as fast as his little legs can carry him to jump into Dan’s arms. 

“Uncle Dan, you made it!”

Dan picks him up at a run and tosses him in the air. “Of course, kid,” he says with a smile. “Come on, get your glove. We gotta work on that screwball.”

Blair watches them, arms folded across her chest and a smile on her lips. He looks different, she thinks, but good. She’d actually missed his long hair and she’d never thought he could pull off facial hair, but scruffy is actually working for Dan. 

“Can I join you guys today?” She asks, still smiling at the sight. 

Henry grins, looking at Dan with serious eyes. Dan winks and gives him a small nod. They do that sometimes, Blair has noticed, have those little wordless exchanges. 

“Yes, mommy,” Henry tells her, “you can come watch.”

* * *

After Henry’s all done with what he very seriously calls his Baseball Practice, he wants to hit the jungle gym for a while and Blair agrees because they’ve got the time. 

“Stay where we can see you,” Dan and Blair instruct simultaneously, and they exchange a small smile as their words collide. 

Henry rolls his eyes, but agrees. “ _Fine_.”

They sit on a bench, watching Henry play and sipping coffee in a mostly comfortable silence. But today, for some reason, Blair wants... _more_. 

“Serena told me,” she says suddenly, “about the break-up. You okay?” 

Dan shrugs, takes a small sip from his cup. “I’m alright,” he admits. “You know, mourning the end of something, but also...relieved, I suppose. It was the right decision. I only wish we’d both had the nerve to make it sooner.”

“I wonder if things can happen too early or too late or if everything happens at exactly the right time.” Blair stares at him then, waiting for it. 

“If so, how sad and beautiful,” he finishes with a smirk. “Simon Van Booy. I got you that book.”

Their eyes meet and Blair smiles. “I remember,” she says. “For what it’s worth, I want to believe that things happen when we need them to, even if that’s not always clear at the time.”

Dan furrows his brow, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “That is an oddly optimistic point of view.”

“Fake it til you make it, Humphrey.” Blair shrugs, takes a more serious tone and adds, “I’m just saying - you’re going to be fine.”

Dan tilts his coffee cup towards her in a cheers gesture. “Thanks, Waldorf.”

* * *

Blair is on the Upper West Side for a business meeting and so she meets up with Nate for lunch, as they sporadically do on occasion.

“Where’s Chuck this time?” Nate asks, taking a sip of wine. 

“Out of town,” Blair replies. “I think he said Shanghai, but honestly I’m not entirely sure.” 

Regardless of where, she’s beyond grateful for the respite right now. Their last fight had been a big one. 

(About nothing new, not really, since Bass Industries went from one sinking venture to another. Blair had long ago grown tired of having to bail Chuck out of trouble. Grown even more tired of having to manage Chuck’s resentment of her own success on top of it.)

There’d been screaming and glasses thrown and things broken. At least this time he hadn’t put his fist through a wall, as he’d done during the worst of their arguments. 

Nate sighs, looking down at his plate. They’ve had this conversation before and it’s never ended well, but he has to say it. “Why do you stay with him, Blair?”

“ _Nate_.” Her tone is both a reprimand and a warning. He’s been busy these past few months, really applying himself for his last semester, but the truth is she’s never been particularly good at hiding things from Nate. After so many years, he has a special ability to see right through her. 

“Don’t think you can shrink me just because you got a psych degree,” Blair warns. 

Nate presses on. Because she needs to hear it and he’s pretty sure he’s the only person Blair is actually semi-confiding to about the whole situation. So if he doesn’t say it to her, then who will?

 _Dan would_ , he thinks. But Nate knows Blair never talks about Chuck, not ever with Dan. He figures this is how their friendship has stayed afloat all these years, thanks to Blair’s incredible ability to compartmentalize and separate her life into lines that can never intercept. 

_Serena should_ , is his second thought. Serena should be the main person helping Blair through this. But Nate knows they haven’t been right for a long time. 

So it falls to him. Which is fine, really. After all, before it had been Blair and Chuck or Blair and Louis or Blair and Dan, it had been Blair and Nate. 

“Chuck was my best friend,” Nate says, looking into her eyes. The weight of the past tense use in that sentence hits them both hard. “I loved him like a brother. And when we were kids it was easier to ignore the things he did, to chalk them up to youthful indiscretions or to him not knowing any better. But we’re adults now, Blair. The hard truth is that he’s always known better, and he’s not going to change. You don’t have to let him treat you like this. You don’t deserve it, you never have.”

“ _He never lays a hand on me_ ,” Blair replies quietly, almost in a whisper. 

Nate reaches for her right hand and turns it palm up on the table. There’s a scar there, about 3 inches long. She’d needed stitches for that one, the cut had been pretty deep, from the time when Chuck had slammed a half empty bottle of gin against a wall. “You’ve always been smart, Blair. You know he doesn’t have to hit you to hurt you.” He swallows and adds, “In fact, if I remember correctly, Chuck has always been particularly adept at hurting you without ever laying a finger on you. You can leave him.”

“Henry,” Blair points out after a while. “I could never do that to him. He deserves to have his family be whole.” 

Henry loves Chuck, is in fact always vying for his father’s praise and attention. But being nurturing has never come easy for Chuck, not even with his own son. While he always tried to make up for it with expensive presents and grand promises, the gifts only got him so far and the promises could only do so much if he never bothered to keep any of them. 

“What Henry deserves, what _we_ deserved, is parents who stay together because they’re good to each other and because they’re good to him.” Nate looks her in the eye then, says, “If he can do this to you, then he’s not good for Henry.”

“I’m almost 30 now,” Blair says. “I have my son and my job and that’s fine. Truthfully, I don’t know if I have it in me to go through another divorce.”

It’s something she’s wondered about from time to time, whether it’d be worse to stay with Chuck or leave him. She’s never been able to land on an answer.

Nate squeezes her hand now. “You’re not alone, Blair,” he tells her seriously. “I’ll stand by you through this, and I know I won’t be the only one. Look, I don’t know what happened between you and S. But I know she loves you, and she will support you. No matter what.”

Blair snatches her hand back. “You can’t tell Serena about this,” she hisses. “You can’t tell...” _Dan_. She stops herself before she says it, shakes her head. “You can’t tell _anyone_ about this.”

“You know I’d never tell him,” Nate assures her, still her ever faithful confidant. “If Dan knew, he’d probably kill Chuck.” 

Truth be told, Nate often wonders why he hasn’t taken on Chuck himself. It’s easy to say that it’s because Blair doesn’t want him to do it, but there’s more to it than that, he thinks. 

“What would me leaving Chuck even look like?” Blair shrugs, smiling sadly. “A messy divorce with no prenup and a never ending custody battle with my son acting like the rope in a tug of war?”

“It would be hard, sure,” Nate says, “but you’re Blair Waldorf. You can do anything. Just...think about it, okay? I worry about you.”

“I know.” Blair reaches for his hand and smiles at him. “You’ve always been the best of us, Nate.”

“And you’ve always been the strongest,” Nate volleys. “Don’t forget that.”

* * *

Dan is in the kitchen chopping something up when Nate arrives after another late night of cramming at Anabel Taylor Hall. 

“Honey, you’re home,” Dan greets, pausing his food prep to grab Nate a beer. 

Nate arches his eyebrows. “Who are you and what have you done with my hermit roommate?”

“It’s a new day and a new Humphrey!” Dan grabs his own beer and takes a pull. “I am making us a fully loaded pizza and garlic knots, all from scratch.”

“Well, not that I’m complaining, but I gotta ask: what prompted you to get your ass off the couch?” 

Dan shrugs. “Wallowing period had to end at some point,” he says. “So, how was school?”

“I am definitely ready for graduation.” Nate reaches over to grab a garlic knot. “Although, after that, I have to pass the bar, so I still have more studying to do.” 

“Nathaniel Fitzwilliam Archibald, J.D.” Dan smiles. “It has a nice ring to it. You still planning to do the ADA thing?”

Nate nods. “Yeah, for a while at least,” he says around a mouthful of bread. “Gonna try to do something good before I become a corporate sellout.”

“I’m really proud of you, man.” Dan has been thinking it for while and he wants to say it. 

Truth is, Nate has really come the farthest out of all of them. He graduated from Columbia with honors, got into Cornell Law School and is now a few months away from finishing. Naturally, his Grandfather had arranged a myriad of offers from the best law firms in the City. Instead, Nate had decided to become an assistant district attorney. His family was not thrilled, but Dan wanted Nate to know someone was very impressed by everything he’d accomplished and would always be rooting for him. 

Nate flashes him his best Golden Boy smile. “Thanks, Dan.”

Dan pulls the pizza from the oven and grabs some plates. “So listen,” he starts, “I have some news of my own.” He clears his throat, cutting up the pizza slices and serving them. “I got an offer from Berkeley, to come teach a comp lit and writing seminar there for the summer. I think I’m gonna go.”

Nate pauses mid-chew. “You’re leaving the city?”

Dan nods, licks his lips. “I need to, man. Something needs to change.” 

Ever since he’d returned to New York from Paris, he’d been regressing in some way. First with Serena, then with his writing, and Blair...all these years and he still loves her, loves Henry, too. But he can’t just hang on the sidelines forever while she stays married to Chuck Bass. He needs to move on, needs a change.

Maybe he’ll find that in California. 

_What about Blair_ , Nate wants to ask. But he knows better than to do that by now. Instead, he asks, “What about Henry?” 

It’s hitting below the belt, he knows, but he also knows both Blair and Henry will need Dan if she actually goes through with leaving Chuck this time. 

“It’s only for three months. Look, I haven’t told anyone yet,” Dan admits. “You’re the first one I’m mentioning this to. Partly, I have to confess, because I need to ask you a favor. You think you can swing by Blair’s a few Fridays in the afternoon? Henry waits for me to play catch, every Friday. I don’t want him to lose that while I’m away.”

It dawns on Nate then that Dan needs this. So he nods. “Yeah,” he say, “I promise, I’ll have him pitching like a pro by the time you come back.”

They shake on it, looking each other in the eye. _I’ll look out for them_ , is what Nate is really promising here, and Dan knows he’ll keep his word on this. 

* * *

Timing is a motherfucker. 

“I’m moving to California,” Dan says, “teaching at Berkeley for the summer.”

Blair blinks, setting down her cup of coffee. “I’m leaving Chuck,” she replies. “Henry and I are moving out this weekend. My lawyers are going to serve him the papers as soon as he arrives back in the city.”

Timing is a motherfucker, and the second that Blair says the words, Dan wants to drop everything and tell her he’ll stay. That he will be at her side, help her through this. She can’t possibly be doing this because of him, he’s well aware, but he doesn’t care. 

But he’s also aware that he can’t do that. Both because he can’t continue to put his life on hold waiting for her and because she needs to leave Chuck on her own terms, without a safety net. 

There’s never an easy choice with them, Dan realizes. Whether it’s to stay or to leave, to wait for her or to move on, it’s never easy and it always hurts. He wonders if it feels like that for her, too.

But he says none of this. Instead, he reaches for her hand, tells her, “I’m sorry you’re going through this. But, if it’s what you really want, I’m proud of you for making the decision.”

Blair looks down at their joined hands. It’s as much physical contact as they’ve had in a long time. They’d always kept their distance. She’d told herself it was out of respect for Serena, but now she wonders how much of that is true. 

Sighing, she turns her hand in his and interlocks their fingers together. It feels oddly intimate, to hold on to him like this after such a long time.

“You’ll make a fine professor, Humphrey,” she says, clearing her throat to speak a little louder. 

She wants to say more. She wants to ask him to stay. If she asks, she’s certain he’ll say yes. He’s never been any good at denying her anything, really. 

But she doesn’t want to be selfish, not with Dan. Not anymore. 

Dan flashes her a half smile. “Will you and Henry be okay?” he asks, still not letting go. “If you need anything from me, I can-”

“I’m sure we’ll make do without you. After all, it’s only for three months.” Blair pulls her hand away then, putting on her best smile. “Do you want me to tell Henry?” 

She has it down to a system now, telling Henry that something he’s been counting on will fall through. Usually it’s when she’s letting him know Chuck will miss a game or a birthday or a play date, but she’s good at improvising by now. 

Dan furrows his brow, looking at her like the suggestion is insane. “Of course not,” he says. “Henry deserves to hear it from me.” He stands up then, going to tuck him in for the night, and let him know. 

Blair doesn’t mean to intrude on a private moment, but she can’t help herself. So, she stands outside Henry’s bedroom door to overhear their conversation. 

Dan apologizes for the fact that he has to go away for a while, tells Henry how truly sorry he is that he’ll be missing their Friday dates and the rest of his t-ball games. Promises to send him cool postcards from California and to FaceTime him every Friday night to hear how his pitching is improving. Not only that, he’s also talked to Uncle Nate and he’ll be coming by to practice with him sometimes. 

Even with all of this, Henry cries, and Blair is tempted to burst in and intervene. 

“Hey, it’s okay, buddy,” Dan says soothingly, pulling Henry onto his lap and hugging him to his chest. “It’s only going to be for a little while. We’ll get you a calendar and you can cross off the days. It’ll fly by, Henry.”

Henry sniffles, pulling back to look him in the eye. “Promise you’ll come back?”

“I swear,” Dan tells him seriously. He pulls him into another hug, adds, “I’ll miss you the most, Henry.”

“Me, too, Uncle Dan.”

Blair walks him to the door in silence and hands him his coat. 

“Um, I know I should’ve cleared it with you first, but I promised Henry I’d FaceTime him every Friday-”

“I’ll make sure I’m here and he has my phone,” she assures him. 

Dan sighs, rubbing the back of his head before tucking his hands in his jeans’ pockets. “It’ll fly by, right? Henry will be okay,” he says, though his tone is more of a question than a statement. “And you...”

“Henry and I will miss you,” Blair says, “quite a lot in fact. But we will be fine while you’re away, Humphrey.”

Before he can second guess himself, Dan leans forward and presses a kiss to her forehead. “If you need me, you can always call.”

Blair smiles. “I know.”

* * *

Nate shows up at the loft with a pint of ice cream and a bottle of wine. 

“I wasn’t sure where you were at in the break-up cycle so I came prepared,” he explains, setting the bags down in the kitchen. 

Serena flashes him one of her big smiles. “Ice cream first.” She grabs two spoons and plops down on the couch. “We can work our way up to the wine.”

They’re on the 3rd bottle of wine and the second pint of Rocky Road, sitting on the couch, Serena with her bare feet on Nate’s lap. 

“It’s just, Dan has been so tied up in my head with me being a better version of myself.” Serena scoffs, shaking her head. “It sounds idiotic saying it out loud, but...it’s like I’ve been trying to recapture what we had in high school and it’s something we could never get back to.”

Nate reaches for her hand. “Serena, you’re amazing,” he says. “You always have been. And I know when you came back from boarding school, determined to do better, you started dating Dan. But correlation is not causation. Just take some time for yourself,” he rubs his thumb over her knuckles softly, “and I know you’ll find that you don’t need to depend on anyone else to be your best self.”

“How’d you end up being the wise one?”

Nate flashes her an endearing grin. “I always have been,” he says, “just used to be too stoned for anyone to notice it.”

Serena tosses her head back, laughing. God, she’s missed this. Missed _him_. “Guess it’s time to start all over again.”

Nate takes a breath, turning serious. “Look, Blair will probably have me murdered for telling you this, but...she’s leaving Chuck.”

Serena straightens up immediately. “ _What_? Why? What happened?”

“It’s not my place to delve into the details, S.” Nate replies. “But I do know she’s gonna be starting over again, too. And you know how Chuck is, he’ll make this hell for her. She’s gonna need you at her side. I don’t know what went wrong between you two, but honestly I don’t care. She’s your best friend, you two are family. It’s time to go back to basics here, and in the beginning, it was always the two of you.”

Serena looks down at her hands. “I’ll go see her first thing tomorrow,” she says. “I got her, you know that, right?”

“I do,” Nate assures her. “I just want to be sure Blair knows it, too.”

* * *

Taylor Townsend is waiting for him at the Arrivals gate, holding a sign that reads ‘Monsieur Humphrey’ in fancy cursive. 

Dan had planned on renting a place, but Taylor wouldn’t hear of it. What’s the point of preparing a guest room if it’s going to go unused?

“You remember Ryan, he is making his special five layer lasagna for your welcome dinner!” Taylor moves to wrap an arm around the blonde teenager standing next to her husband. “And this is our son, Leo. Kid, this is Dan. He’s an old friend, we went to college together.”

“Hey,” Leo greets with a jut of his chin before turning to his father. “Dad, come on, you promised you’d help me with my curve ball while we waited on dinner.”

Ryan ruffles the boy’s hair. “Alright, let’s go,” he says, grabbing a baseball glove and leading the way to the backyard. “Nice to have you here, Dan. Make yourself at home.”

“Thanks for having me,” Dan replies. He watches Ryan and Leo play through the sliding door that leads to the yard, and he thinks of Henry. 

“Spill it.” Taylor sits at the kitchen booth, pouring two glasses of wine. “What happened with Serena?”

Taylor had liked Serena, though she only met her briefly when Dan brought her as his plus one for her wedding with Ryan. That said, something about them always seemed... _off_. Like they were going through to motions of being a couple instead of actually being one. 

Dan sighs, sitting down across from her. He grabs the glass of wine and downs half of it in a single gulp. “Well...”

It’s hard to explain because both everything and nothing happened with Serena, but Taylor seems to get it anyway. 

“That was a very long-winded way of saying you’re still in love with Blair Waldorf,” she notes. 

“Well, you know me, it’s impossible to turn off the Humphrey Overthink.” Dan shrugs and they laugh, clinking their glasses together. 

“You’ll like it here. I think a it’ll do you good. Sometimes a little distance is just what you need to find some peace.”

Dan furrows his brow. “Why do you always indulge my desire to run away?”

“Because,” Taylor grins, “it means I get to keep you a little longer, and I like having you around.”

* * *

Serena lets herself into the town house with her In-Case-Of-Emergencies-Only key. “Blair,” she calls out. “You here?”

There’s boxes pilled neatly by the stairs and she can spot a maid running around the kitchen. The house looks the same but also startlingly different, and Serena can’t quite put her finger on why. 

“What are you doing here?” Blair walks in then, surprised to find Serena standing there. 

Serena offers her one of the coffee cups she’s holding. “We need to talk,” she says, taking a sip. “And don’t say you’re busy, it’s important.”

They sit in the study, awkwardly sipping their coffees, Blair wondering what’s happening and Serena working up the nerve for the conversation. 

“Fuck it,” Serena mutters to herself. “Blair, I’m sorry. I could go in depth here, but we really don’t have the time for that right now. We’d probably never stop, actually. So consider it a blanket apology. I’ve been a shitty friend, and a really shitty aunt to Henry. But I don’t want it to be like this anymore. Nate told me you’re leaving Chuck. Don’t get mad at him, I needed to know.”

Blair shakes her head. “It’s fine, Serena. People get divorced all the time. Besides, Chuck is your stepbrother. I don’t want to put you in the middle.” 

“Screw that. You’re not just people. Chuck is Chuck, but _you_ are my sister.” Serena sets down the coffee and crouches down in front of Blair. She reaches for her hand and looks her in the eye. “You once told me what is you is me, there’s nothing I could ever say to make you let go,” she clears her throat, her voice thick, “and I never told you this, but it goes both ways. So I’m saying it now: I love you, Blair, what is you is me, and I am not letting go. There is no middle for me. I am standing by your side. You’re not going through this alone.”

It’s been a too long since they’ve been this open with each other, both crying freely now. Serena wraps her arms around Blair and holds her tight. “I got you, B.” she whispers into her hair, “so you can let it out. I got you.”

* * *

Before, if you were to have told Blair Waldorf that she would ever be living in Brooklyn, she would’ve laughed and accused you of insanity. And yet, when Serena had proposed the idea, Blair had found herself agreeing. After all, Eleanor had sold all her property in the City a few years ago, so Blair had nowhere else to go. Staying with Nate at the Empire seemed like a lateral move, getting out of Chuck’s house to move into his former penthouse. 

Besides, Blair has always hated the idea of Henry living in a hotel. From the moment they’d placed her baby in her arms, she’s been determined to raise him to be a better man than his father. 

So now she stands by the door of the former Humphrey loft, watching over the movers and meticulously instructing them on where to put everything. Truthfully, she’s surprised by how little she’d actually wanted to bring along with her.

Her house with Chuck had been flawless; carefully decorated and painted, and Chuck always went to a lot of trouble to fill it with beautiful things. 

An assortment of jewelry, everything from rings to necklaces, for every time he went off on her. An extensive art collection, featuring a new painting for every time he threw a bottle or glass or plate at a wall. Antiques and bracelets and clothes for every time he yelled, every time he got too drunk, every time she found out about another affair.

And so, when Blair finally leaves, there’s not much she actually wants to take with her. 

* * *

Serena busts through the door. Henry’s piggybacking her and laughing. 

“Faster, faster!”

Serena complies, running faster around the living room before tossing him onto the couch and tickling his sides. “Whatever Prince Harry wants, he shall receive!”

Blair presses a kiss to the top of his head. “How do you like it here, sweetie?”

Henry furrows his brow, like he’s seriously considering his answer. 

Serena scruffs up his perpetually messy hair and winks at him. “I’m an awesome roommate, kid,” she assures him. “We’re gonna have fun.”

“Can I get a bunk bed?” Henry asks sedately. 

Blair laughs at that. “Of course, honey.”

“That mean I can sleepover, too?” Nate walks in, grinning at them. “Little dude,” he greets, high-fiving Henry. “You ready?”

Serena jumps up and pulls Nate into a hug. “What are you doing here?”

“It’s Friday,” Nate replies, “I have a date with Henry.”

Henry’s already off to find his baseball glove and when he comes back he tugs on Nate’s arm. “I need to be back by bedtime,” he says. “Uncle Dan is calling and we’re finishing Harry Potter tonight.” So Nate promises him they’ll be back in time and off they go. 

Serena sighs, sitting back down next to Blair. Dan’s been a bit like Voldemort between them, a name neither brings up. 

“Nothing ever happened,” Blair says, her voice raspy but steady. “When he came around, it was for Henry. Always.”

Serena sighs, looking down at her hands. “Dan said as much,” she admits. “And I believe you. It just...stings, I guess. It’s been a process getting used to it.”

“To what?” 

Serena flashes her a sad smile, looking at her like she’s an idiot for not knowing the answer. “Not being the girl that Dan loves the most.” 

Two competing thoughts enter Blair’s head at once. 

The first one is petty and unkind: _now you know how it feels._

The second one gives her pause: _I wasn’t aware any boy who has loved you first has ever loved me_ _more_. 

* * *

Chuck Bass returns from Sydney to find his house empty, his wife and child gone, and he immediately gets served with divorce papers. 

Naturally, he shows up at the loft at 4 a.m. drunk off his ass, banging on the door like a mad man. Screaming that she’s a traitor, that his army of PI’s tracked her down so she might as well open the door because he knows she’s in there.

The routine is the same as it always is with them. First he’s remorseful, swears that he’ll change. When that tactic doesn’t succeed, he works his way back up to rage, saying how it’s all her fault, she doesn’t support him, she never has. Finally there’s the guilt. 

_Think about Henry_ , Chuck says. _You don’t want our son to come from a broken home_. 

Blair look at the man in front of her - he reeks of alcohol, his eyes are bloodshot, his chest heaving. 

“Henry has been living in a broken home for his entire life,” she tells him serenely. “Now it’s over, Chuck. Now, I’m going to give my son something whole.” 

Even though she tells this to Chuck easily, Blair is still worried about how it’ll play out. It’s often hard to predict just how terrible the backlash will be when he’s like this. Luckily, she’s spared having to find out. 

“Chuck, you need to leave.” Serena walks out of Henry’s room and closes the door. She holds her iPhone up, says, “If you don’t, I’m calling the cops. And I know how much you hate a public scene.”

Chuck glares at them both. ”You want to leave me, fine,” he hisses in Blair’s face. “But you must be out of your fucking mind if you think you can take my son away from me, you crazy bitch.”

“Once more with feeling, for the camera,” Serena calls out. She’s holding her phone up, recording the whole thing. “You’re drunk - _go home, Chuck_.”

When the door slams behind him, Blair lets out a breath she hadn’t even realized she’d been holding. 

“You okay?” Serena asks. 

Blair ignores the question. Mostly because she’s unsure about the answer. “Where’s Henry? Did he-”

Serena waves a hand. “I left him hooked up to my noise cancelling headphones. I told you I have your back.”

Blair shakes her head. “This divorce is going to be an all out war.”

“Then let’s go to the mattresses.” Upon seeing Blair furrowing her brow, Serena adds, “It’s from _The Godfather._ ”

“I know,” Blair replies, “it’s just an odd reference coming from you.”

Serena shrugs. “I actually got it from _You’ve Got Mail_ ,” she admits. 

That startles a laugh out of Blair, and god it feels good to laugh right now. “Let’s go to the mattresses, S.” 

* * *

Cyrus, Eleanor and Harold fly into the City as soon as they find out about the divorce. Chuck Bass may have the best lawyers money can buy, but Blair has two very pissed off dads who refuse to let their only grandson be lost in a custody battle. 

It feels to Blair like a never ending fight. There was never a prenup or a postnuptial agreement signed between them; Chuck had been too arrogant to ask for one and Blair had been too blinded to ever think they’d need it.

After 2 months of mediation that’s truly getting nowhere and with Chuck defamating her on every gossip rag that will publish unfounded rumors, Blair just wants this to end. She _needs_ this to end. 

Nate shows up most Fridays, just as he’d promised Dan he would. He’ll also come in on the weekends when Henry’s staying with Chuck. He brings wine and takeout and usually stays the night. 

It feels like a time machine, all three of them crowded in the living room, drinking and laughing. Except it’s different now, at least for Blair. Watching the love for Serena in Nate’s eyes doesn’t tear something inside of her apart anymore. 

Serena, however, seems oblivious to this fact. Still, she dances to whatever songs comes up on Spotify and sits on Nate’s lap just because and she teaches them how to make a bong out of an apple the one night Blair agrees to try getting high with them. 

One night, after Nate’s carried a sleeping Serena off to bed and tucked her in, Blair opens the last wine bottle for the two of them. 

“You hear from Dan lately?” 

Nate nods, reaching for his glass. “We talked yesterday. He’s coming back in time for my graduation next month.” He eyes her for a beat as he takes a long sip. “Have you talked to him?”

“He FaceTimes with Henry every Friday night,” Blair replies. “Never misses a call.”

“Look, he’s just trying to be respectful and do the right thing,” Nate offers. “Give you space to sort everything out.” 

Even so, the fridge is littered with postcards that Dan has sent for Henry. Always one every week, without fail. Nate has also noticed the calendar taped to the door of Henry’s bedroom where he’s been carefully crossing out the days until Uncle Dan comes back home.

It all makes Nate realize that there are so many ways to still be around, even when you’re gone. 

Blair sighs, pouring out the last of the wine into her own glass. “I think I was afraid that he’d always be in love Serena _more_ ,” she admits softly, then shrugs, “that Chuck was the only one who’d ever love just me. I’ve spent so many years making all the wrong choices for all the wrong reasons.”

“Blair, it’s not over yet,” Nate says, reaching for her hand. “You’ll make it out of this in one piece, and then you can start over.”

Blair smirks. “Ever the optimist, Archibald.”

”Hey, one of us has to be,” Nate volleys with a lopsided grin.

* * *

It’s Sunday at 3 a.m. when Blair dials Dan on a whim.

 _He probably won’t pick up_ , she thinks as she hears the line ring. 

“Blair,” his voice full of panic cuts through her thoughts. “Are you okay? Is it Henry? What’s wrong?”

Blair smiles, touched by his concern. “We’re both fine,” she’s quick to assure him. “Nothing’s wrong, Humphrey. I just...couldn’t sleep. There’s a Bogart marathon on and I thought of you.”

Dan sighs and she hears him shuffling around. “Which channel?”

“AMC,” Blair replies, smiling. “It’s your favorite, _The Big Sleep_.”

Dan smirks. “I’m surprised you didn’t wake me for _Sabrina_.”

“Next time I will.”

They make it through _The Big Sleep_ , _The Maltese Falcon_ , and decide to call it quits after _Casablanca_. 

“Goodnight, Humphrey,” Blair whispers. 

“Here’s looking at you, kid,” Dan replies. 

“You know, the marathon’s on all week. Same time tomorrow?”

“I’ll be up waiting for your call.”

And for the rest of the week, Dan and Blair fall asleep talking on the phone together. 

* * *

Blair is cuddled up on the living room couch with Henry. They’re watching _The Sandlot_ for the umpteenth time now. Truthfully it’s not Blair’s taste, but it’s one of Henry’s all time favorite movies. She secretly enjoys that he’s just like her that way, that when he loves something he wants to watch it over and over again, never actually growing tired of it. 

“Mommy,” Henry starts, never taking his eyes off the screen, “is it true you wanna steal me away from daddy?”

Blair pauses the movie and turns to face him. “Where did you hear that, Henry?”

Henry immediately clams up, the instinct to protect his father always alive in him. It troubles Blair never being able to tell if the reflex comes out of love or a desperate need to gain Chuck’s affection. 

“ _Henry Nathaniel Bass_ ,” Blair repeats, “did your father actually say that to you?”

Henry shakes his head, whispers, “ _No_.”

Despite all the upheaval, Henry has appeared to take the divorce in stride so far. He’s enjoyed living in a perpetual sleepover with Serena and Nate, and having his grandparents around regularly. He seems to take to having two of everything pretty quickly as well: two bedrooms, two houses, two sets of toys and books.

The weekends when Chuck takes him are a mini vacation, like _Eloise at the Plaza_ only it’s Henry at the Palace. After all, Henry has grown up used to only having Chuck around sporadically at best.

This is the first time Blair has truly seen him upset about the whole situation. 

Blair pulls him into her lap and presses a kiss to the top of his head. “Look at me, sweetie,” she asks, pressing her forehead against his. This is what they do when she wants him to know she’s being serious, press their foreheads together and hold each other tight. “Mommy loves you more than anything else in the world, all right? That’s never going to change, no matter what happens between me and daddy. Do you understand?” Henry nods, wrapping his arms around her neck. “I promise you, baby, it’ll all be okay.”

Even after all they’d been through together, everything that Chuck had put her through over the years, Blair has never truly hated him more than she does right in this second.

Henry has cried over Chuck before - when he forgot his last birthday, when he didn’t make it to a single one of his t-ball games, when he went away on another business trip and forgot about their plans. But this is different. This is Chuck manipulating their 5 year old’s worst fears just to screw her over.

Blair realizes then and there that she will never forgive Chuck for doing this to Henry. 

* * *

In the end, it’s a simple trade that gets them both what they each want the most: majority controlling ownership of Bass Industries for Chuck in exchange for full primary physical custody of Henry for Blair. 

_You could get more_ , everyone tells her, _you’re entitled to so much more._ She could take half of Bass Industries, the house, the cars, and everything else. 

Blair just smiles and shakes her head. There’s only one worthwhile thing to come out of their marriage, and she’s already gotten it. 

As long as Blair has Henry, the rest can burn in hell along with Chuck for all she cares. 


	3. I don't think anyone could ever love anyone the way I love you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’ve always been in love with you, every minute. It’s always been you, Blair. For me, it’s always been you.”
> 
> Blair brings a hand up to cup his cheek. “Sorry it took me so long to catch up, Humphrey,” she says, “but I’m ready to make up for lost time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. I’m not entirely satisfied with this, but I couldn’t keep editing it back and forth. I figured I’d put it out there and let you guys decide if it’s any good...

“ _I closed my eyes_  
_And wrapped my arms around you_  
_Do you remember what I whispered, love?_  
_Do you remember what I whispered, love?_  
_This is how it's meant to be_  
_This is where we're supposed to be_  
_I don't think anyone_  
_Could ever love anyone_  
_The way I love you_ ”

—Fortress, Bear’s Den

* * *

Truthfully, Blair is a bit surprised by how easy it’s been to fall back into rhythm with Dan. 

It’s been 2 weeks now, and she still calls him every night. They make it through AMC’s Bogart week and decide to keep doing marathons of all their favorites. 

Tonight, it’s Gregory Peck. 

“You cannot possibly believe _Roman Holiday_ is his best,” Dan declares. “ _To Kill a Mockingbird_ is both a film _and_ literary classic!”

Blair rolls her eyes so hard he can practically hear it. “I most certainly can, Humphrey,” she sniffs. “I always knew your taste was lacking, but this just completely cements my theory.”

“Mommy.” Henry’s at the door, holding his stuffed Superman tight against his chest. “I had a bad dream,” he says, running to climb up into bed with her. 

Blair wraps an arm around him and kisses the side of his head. “What was it, sweetie? Do you wanna tell mom?”

“Don’t remember...” Henry has already closed his eyes as he cuddles up to her. 

Blair runs her fingers through his hair. “It’s okay, Henry, mommy’s here.”

“Hey,” Dan’s voice pulls Blair out of her thoughts. “Put him on, let me talk to him.”

Blair nudges Henry, putting the phone up to his ear. “Someone wants to say hi, sweetheart.”

“Hey, buddy,” Dan greets, “you alright?”

Henry perks right up at hearing Dan. He lays his head on Blair’s lap and starts to go on and on about his day and how his pitching is going and how his first official game is coming up. Blair smiles, listening to them talk, still running her fingers through Henry’s hair. 

“Wish you could come, Uncle Dan,” Henry says, “I miss you.”

Blair clears her throat. “Alright, thumbkin,” she says, “I thinks it’s time to say goodnight to Uncle Dan. It’s way past your bedtime.”

“Can I get a story first?” Henry flutters his lashes, giving her the puppy dog eyes. “It’ll help me sleep. Uncle Dan can read it to me.”

Blair shakes her head, but she can’t help the smile. “I’m sure he needs to go to sleep, too.”

“No, no, it’s fine. Um, whatcha wanna read, bud?” 

They settle on _Where the Wild Things Are_ , one of their all time favorites. 

“The night Max wore his wolf suit and made mischief of one kind and another,” Dan begins, “his mother called him ‘WILD THING!’ and Max said ‘I’LL EAT YOU UP!’ so he was sent to bed without eating anything.”

Both Blair and Henry drift off to sleep about a third of the way through. Dan doesn’t hang up and falls asleep with them. 

* * *

“I’m just saying, this is the fifth luncheon you’ve helped Lily organize this month,” Blair points out. “You’re becoming a full-blown socialite.”

Serena is in her tenth attempt at making waffles and by now it feels like the burnt smell will never fade from the kitchen.

“What else am I supposed to do?” she asks, sitting down on the stool across from Blair with a stack that looks mostly edible. “I still have my trust fund, so work’s not a pressing need at this moment. I’m done with school and my visual arts degree hasn’t been particularly useful as of yet. What else is there?”

Blair rolls her eyes. “I went through your portfolio, your photographs are good, S. You should send it out, try to make something of it.”

Between the gap years and the constant indecision, it had taken 6 years for Serena to finish her Bachelor’s degree. In the end, she’d taken every photography course Columbia had to offer, plus a few extra ones she signed up for at NYU.

As with most things Serena tried on a whim, she’d ended up having a natural talent for it. 

Really, it shouldn’t have come as a surprise to anyone - Serena had always excelled at finding and capturing beauty. 

“I _did_ ,” Serena admits. “Right after I graduated, but it was just...I could never tell if they wanted my work or my name. I know you’ve never really cared for the way some things just seem to effortlessly fall into my lap, but I’ll let you in on a secret, B.” she sighs, looking away, “it’s never worth much if you don’t actually earn it.”

Blair walks over to her. “Screw that,” she says. “You are talented, Serena. Come work for me. We’re launching a new magazine, we could use a photographer. And you know I’m not just after your name. If you want, we’ll use a pseudonym.”

“You’d take a chance on me?”

Blair squeezes her hand. “Every time,” she says. “Do you want it?”

Serena flashes her one of her ethereal smile. “I think I really do, actually.”

“Layla’s heading that project. I’ll have her call you tomorrow so you can get started.” Blair goes back to sipping her coffee and reading the paper. 

It’s nice, Serena realizes, their routine. It feels like home.

For such a long time she’s been searching for this feeling. She’d never imagined she would find it here, in Brooklyn, living with Blair and Henry in the same apartment she’d once shared with Dan, but she’s glad for it all the same. 

* * *

Blair and Serena are sitting in the first row of the stands, ready to cheer Henry during his first official baseball game as pitcher. 

Nate arrives with his hands full, carrying a box with popcorn, nachos, hot dogs and sodas.

He suppresses a laugh at the girls’ mirror reactions.

Blair scrunches up her nose, muttering, “Junk food,” and grabbing just a soda.

Serena grins, exclaiming, “Junk food!” and grabbing a tray of nachos and a hot dog. 

“How’s the champ doing?” Nate already has his phone out, ready to record Henry’s first pitch. He’d promised Dan he’d get all the highlights on video for him. 

Blair sighs, shaking her head. “He’s been upset all morning,” she says. “Chuck hasn’t returned any of his calls, he was supposed to be here today.”

“ _Surprise, surprise_ ,” Serena mutters under her breath. “It’s gonna be alright, I told him we’d take him for Chipotle after. Besides, he’s got his best cheerleader right here.” She jumps to her feet and starts clapping and hooting. “Whoo! Go, Hawks! Go, number six! Get ‘em, Harry!” She cheers the loudest, winking at Henry when she catches his eye. It’s enough to get a smile out of him. 

“I hate it when you call him that,” Blair comments, absentmindedly chewing on her straw.

“Nicknames are cool, and I should know.”

With the exception of Lily van der Woodsen, no one has ever actually called Nate “Nathaniel” since he was a baby. 

Serena throws an arm around his neck, pressing a loud kiss to his cheek. “Thank you, Natie!”

“I think the kid’s got a crush on you.” Nate nudges Serena’s knee with his own and shrugs. “Looks like Harry’s got good taste.”

Serena throws her head back, laughing that melodious laugh of hers.

Nate does that thing he’s done since they were five years old: stare at Serena wonderstruck, like she’s the sun and he can’t look away, even when it hurts. 

Blair resists the urge to roll her eyes. It would be so easy for those two to get their shit together if they just made an effort. However, she’s trying to meddle less and allow things to follow their natural course. That’s bound to only last a few more weeks tops. She can only watch her two best friends fumble along for so long before she intervenes, after all. 

“You’re both idiots,” Blair mutters, shaking her head. 

Serena wraps one arm around Blair and the other around Nate, pulling them both close. “And yet you love us just as we are!” She presses a kiss to the top of Blair’s head, mussing up her hair a little. 

* * *

Truthfully, Blair has never much cared for sports in general. Back in high school she used to go to Nate’s lacrosse games when she was on a mission to be the perfect girlfriend, but she’d never much cared about the game one way or the other. 

It’s different with Henry. She still doesn’t particularly enjoy baseball, but she loves seeing him happy. She’s never missed a single game, always there cheering him on.

It used to be Dan who’d sit next to her at the stands, wearing a team jersey and hat. She loves that she can have both Serena and Nate there with her now, that Henry has an extra roster cheering him on, but still...she can’t help but to want Dan next to her, too. 

* * *

They’re in the bottom of the ninth, just one run down now, and Serena has been threatened with being kicked out twice for graphically trash talking the other team.

“Hey, I am in _the right_ here,” Serena protests. “That kid they’ve got pitching for the other team is thirteen if he is a day!”

Nate laughs, ever willing to back Serena up in whatever crazy idea runs through her head. 

Blair slaps her shoulder. “ _Behave_ ,” she warns. “Henry’s the last one up at bat. He always gets so nervous.”

“My boy’s gonna score the winning run, just you watch.” Serena hoots and screams encouragement.

Nate, of course, follows her lead, shouting out advice and support.

Blair just flashes Henry a confident smile, silently asking whatever deity will listen to please let him get a hit. 

And then it happens - Henry gets his first hit and they all jump to their feet at once. 

Serena has her camera in hand, snapping shot after shot. 

Nate jumps, pumping a fist into the air, shouting, “Atta boy, Harry! Go!” at the top of his lungs. 

Blair grins, beaming with pride, clapping as Henry clears first base. 

“Oh, shit, he’s got a chance to run, look,” Nate says, pointing to where the other team’s outfielder is fumbling the ball.

Henry makes it to third and hesitates for a second, looking around as everyone yells for him to keep going. But one voice stands out above all the rest. When he looks towards home plate, he spots Uncle Dan. 

“Come on, buddy, bring it home!” Dan waves him over. 

Like he’s done a thousand times before, Henry takes off running as fast as he can towards Dan. He steps over the home plate easily, but he keeps going past it.

“ _Holy shit_!” Nate chuckles.

Serena aims her camera, capturing the moment when Dan leans down to catch Henry at a run and picks him up into a hug. She sighs, looking down to the examine the shot. “Looks like Dan’s back in town.”

Dan walks over to the stands and Nate is the first to greet him. “What the hell,” he grins, pulling Dan into a hug. “Come on, dude.”

* * *

They all end up together at Chipotle to celebrate Henry’s win, despite the fact that both Blair and Serena tried to talk themselves out of it. 

Serena glares at Nate. “I can’t believe you guilt tripped us all into this.”

“Serena, after such a long time, things are finally back to center. We’re all friends again, real friends who talk to each other. Dan’s back now, and we should all just try to get along. Come on,” Nate bats his eyelashes at her, those navy-blue eyes locking with hers, “for Harry, if nothing else.”

Serena can’t help but to smile whenever he looks at her like that. “Not just Harry,” she replies, jutting her chin towards the counter where Dan’s helping Blair order with Henry sitting on his shoulders. “I’m pretty sure B. loves him.”

Nate can’t disagree. “You good with that?” He reaches for her hand, giving it a squeeze. 

“Yes,” Serena replies on a sigh. “It’s weird, I won’t lie, but...this is how it’s supposed to be, I think. Besides, as a wise man once told me, I don’t need anyone else to be the best version of myself.”

Nate grins. “No, you do not,” he says, “and if you ever forget, I’ll be around to remind you.”

“I do love you, Natie.” Serena presses a kiss to his cheek. “You’re still my favorite boy.”

Dan and Blair glance over and it’s impossible to miss the goofy grin that spreads across Nate’s face when Serena kisses him. 

“Not gonna lie, I kinda figured Nate and Serena would’ve gotten together by now,” Dan says, filling up their soda cups.

Blair smirks. “Timing’s never been their strong suit,” she comments. “They’ll get there, I think.”

“Hope dies last.”

“It’s kind of endearing, actually,” Blair says, “I don’t think he’s ever not loved her. Whether they’re single or dating other people or together, Nate has always just...loved her in whatever way she lets him, whatever way she needs him to.”

“That’s kind of what we all want,” Dan replies. “A love that doesn’t falter.”

Blair actually smiles at that. “Certainly something to hope for.”

Dan just stares at her, smiling softly, that twinkle in his eyes like he truly sees her and still he believes she’s the most perfect thing he’s ever laid his eyes on. 

It’s not entirely unfamiliar, the way the tension in her chest dissipates whenever he looks at her like that. It always makes her feel...seen. _God_ , she’s missed him. 

“Henry’s missed you,” she says instead, her pride and better judgment winning out over her instinct. 

Dan glances at the table where Henry’s sitting with a few kids from the team and winks at him. “I really missed him, too.” He looks her in the eye, adds, “Um, I enjoyed our movie nights. Been a while since we’ve done that.”

“It’s been nice,” she agrees, “being friends with you.”

Dan laughs softly, remembering they’d once said something vaguely similar to each other so many years ago. “Let’s...do it again sometime.”

* * *

Something about seeing Dan again after so many months prompts Serena to pull out her break-up box. After Dan had left, she’d grabbed every single thing that reminded her of him and tossed it in box, shoving it in the back of her closet. Out of sight, out of mind. 

But now he’s back and she finds herself sitting in the living room floor going through everything, deciding what to keep and what to toss. She still has some of his old stories, which she sets aside just in case Dan wants to keep them. There’s a few old ticket stubs and other tchotchkes she tosses in the trash. Finally there’s a stack of pictures. She’s thumbing through it when Blair walks in. 

“What have you done to our living room?”

Serena flashes her a grin. “I’m doing a cleanse,” she announces. “Figured it was time.”

“Better late than never I suppose.” Blair sits down in the couch, primly crossing her legs.

She watches the remnants of Dan and Serena’s relationship scattered on the floor and she can’t help the feeling of jealousy bubbling in the pit of her stomach. Serena has so many tangible memories of her history with Dan, countless photographs and keepsakes. Blair doesn’t have as much, an old picture and a cubic zirconia tiara she’s never been able to bring herself to throw away. 

“I think I have feelings for Dan,” Blair blurts out.

Once upon a time, she would’ve never admitted that so bluntly. She would’ve lied and denied and schemed, but she wants to do things differently now. 

Serena flashes her a half-smile. “I know.” She reaches for a stack of the pictures she’d just developed and hands one over. “You deserve to be happy, Blair. I won’t be the one to stand in the way of that, not ever again.”

Blair looks down at the photograph. It’s from Henry’s game, the moment he jumped into Dan’s arm after scoring his first run. Both wearing matching grins as they hold each other tight. 

“I don’t...” her voice trails off. “So much has happened, I don’t know if he still feels the same.”

Serena lets out a wry chuckle. “I’m pretty sure he does.”

“How do you know?”

 _Because I spent almost five years watching him try to love me while he was still in love with you_ , Serena thinks. 

“I just know,” she says instead. “So. You gonna make your move or what?”

* * *

  
“I’m not betting with you,” Nate says, lining up his shot. “You’re a hustler.”

Dan chalks up his pool cue and smirks. “I am deeply offended by the accusation, Archibald.”

They’re playing pool while they wait for room service because they’d both been too lazy to cook breakfast. 

“How’d it go with Blair?”

Dan looks down at the table. “Nothing to go, man. We’re just friends.”

Nate rolls his eyes. “Dude. _Come on_!” He shoves at Dan’s shoulder. “There is clearly something between you two. You need to make your move.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Why not?”

“ _Because_!” Dan throws his hands up, laughing wryly. “She doesn’t want me, Nate. And I just...” he shakes his head, shrugs, “stay, go, whatever I do, I just can’t get it right.”

“You always do your best by Blair,” Nate says. “That’s as right you can get, dude.”

“She doesn’t need me having feelings for her right now,” Dan says. “She just needs me to be her friend, and that I can actually do really well.”

“What do you really want, Dan? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure I know the answer.”

Dan sighs. It’s simple, really. When it comes to Blair, his ultimate goal is always her happiness. That’s it. Whatever it takes.

“I want her to be happy and well. Both her and Henry.” He shrugs, examining the table with an intense concentration. “I just think I gotta...try to move on. I’m not what she wants.”

Nate blinks. “You know, you’re still the stupidest smart guy I know.”

“Well, at least I’m consistent.”

* * *

The first time Blair sees Dan alone again is the day of Nate’s law school graduation. 

She literally has to do a double take. It’s only been a few days, but he looks so different now - he’s clean-shaven, he has a fresh haircut (though his messy curls still spill down his forehead), he’s in an expensive black suit (Simon Spur, she guesses at a glance) and he’s wearing glasses.

“Humphrey,” she greets with a smile, “you’ve made it.”

Dan grins, nearly beaming at the sight of her in that dress. “Hello, Blair,” he says, “nice to see you, too.”

“Still can’t do a proper double-Windsor to save your life, huh?” She pulls the tie loose and starts to knot it back up properly. 

Dan looks down, staring at her hands working with an easy dexterity. He can’t help but to notice she’s not wearing her wedding ring anymore. 

Blair lays her palms on his chest when she’s done, examining her work before meeting his eyes with a smile. “Much better,” she declares, running her hands up his lapels. “You actually clean up pretty well, Humphrey.”

Dan smiles again. “I’ve missed you, Waldorf.” The words just slip out, but god does he mean them. 

Blair wants to say she’s missed him, too. In fact, she thinks she’s been missing him for quite a long time now.

But before she can say anything, Serena arrives to tell them that Lily and Rufus saved them all seats. 

They sit side by side, clapping and screaming like idiots for Nate when his name finally gets called. Still, Blair can’t help but steal a couple of glances at Dan. 

He _does_ look good. 

* * *

Nate doesn’t actually admit this, but part of the reason he’s throwing himself a post graduation party is the fact that no one from his family had bothered to show up today.

Truthfully, he hadn’t expected anything different, but it stings all the same. 

He’s not complaining though. The van der Humphreys had all shown up, including Erik and his latest boyfriend, in a show of familial support. Besides, the way Serena’s been beaming at him all day is enough to cheer him up. 

Blair mingles with some of Nate’s classmates and pours herself a drink. She watches as Serena jumps up to sit on the pool table, swinging her bare feet back and forth. She’s been wearing Nate’s mortar board all afternoon and it actually looks cute on her. She pulls Nate in for a selfie, wrapping her arms around his chest and resting her head on top of his. 

The sight actually makes Blair smile. Golden Boy and Sunshine Barbie. Those two had always been the perfect pair. 

She searches the room, looking for Dan. A while back he was making small talk with Rachel Zane and her boyfriend, but now he is suddenly nowhere to be seen.

She finds him standing on the balcony, arms crossed over the railing while he stares at the horizon. 

“There you are. I was wondering where you’d run off to.”

Dan turns, startled by her presence. “I, uh, needed some fresh air.”

“Mind if I join you?” Blair asks, already sitting down on the table. 

“Please do.” Dan watches her for a beat, swirling his drink inside the glass absentmindedly. “Where’s Henry tonight?”

Blair takes a long sip of her drink. “It’s Chuck’s weekend.” 

  
She’s still not used to it, to being without Henry every other weekend, at least when Chuck bothers to show up. 

“I’m here, you know,” he says, “for whatever you need. Both you and Henry. Um, I know it’s not much, but they’re playing _Nénette_ at the Film Forum again. If you need the distraction. We can still catch the last showing.” 

Blair tuts. “Surely you have better things to do with your evening.”

Dan shrugs a shoulder. “Nothing I’d enjoy more than spending it with you,” he admits. 

Blair sets down her drink and stands, walking up to face him. “Dan.”

Dan can’t help the surprised smile that tugs at his lips. “You haven’t called me Dan in years.”

“Five of them, to be exact,” Blair informs him. “Almost six now. Not since the day Henry was born.”

Still one of the best days of Dan’s life to be honest. Nothing can compare to having been there for that moment. “Excellent memory as always. That’s always been one of your best qualities, although I’ll admit it can be a bit-”

“ _Dan_ ,” Blair repeats, cutting him off before he can go into full hyper-verbal mode. “I wanted to ask...would you like to go out with me sometime?”

Dan blinks. “Like... _out_ out?”

Blair smiles at that. “Out. On a date. We can grab lunch at Flora Bar, check out the new exhibits at The Met.”

Dan opens and closes his mouth a few times, trying to process what just happened. “I...you want to go out. On a date. With me?”

“Are you not interested?”

“No, _no_ , I mean, _yes_ , I am - _interested_! But...I thought this wasn’t where we were.”

 _Fuck, I’m rambling_ , he thinks.

“You’re rambling,” Blair points out. “Where we are is this: I’m a divorced single mother living in Brooklyn with my best friend, who just so happens to be your ex-girlfriend. Do you still want to go out with me?”

Dan nods a little too vigorously. “I’d love to.”

* * *

It’s strange only in how natural it feels to fall into a rhythm together.

They have lunch three or four times that week, whenever Blair can get away. They’ll meet at any of Dan’s favorite pretentious cafés and just stay there for hours. 

Conversation has always flowed freely between them, and god it feels good to laugh like this again.

They fight, too, of course, but it’s the good kind. The kind that she’s always craved, a battle of wits that she’s always determined to win.

What she likes most is how often Dan doesn’t let her. 

After all, she’s always enjoyed the challenge. 

“What are we doing?” Dan asks suddenly one afternoon. 

Blair sets down her coffee cup carefully. “Dating.”

“Yes, but what does that-” He’s cut off when Blair leans over across the table and kisses him.

Truth be told, he’s thought about kissing her again more times than he can count, but the reality of it is so much more than he’d been expecting. He brings a hand up to her hair, pulling her closer, kissing her back. 

When they pull apart, Blair rests her forehead against his. “It means that I want to be with you,” she near-whispers. “And I come with a lot of baggage, but if I recall correctly, that didn’t scare you off the first time around.”

Dan can’t help the wince at the mention of how they were before. “I want to be with you, too,” he tells her. “I’m all in, Blair. I’ve always...” He wants to say he’s always been all in, always been in love with her, but he’s afraid that would make him sound like a selfish asshole so he stops himself. 

“Yeah,” she agrees. “Me, too.”

* * *

It’s a bit like being teenagers again, only simpler. They go on dates and make out in the back of cabs and Dan buys Blair flowers just because, and it feels wonderful. 

Everyone seems to be mostly happy for them.

Rufus hugs Dan and wishes him luck. Lily follows suit, even though she’s still somewhat puzzled by the abrupt end of Dan and Serena. 

Nate catches them fooling around on his living room couch more than once, and he teases them endlessly about it.

Serena smiles, assuring Blair she’s happy for her, promising she truly means it. 

And she does, for the most part. 

Still, she doesn’t ever interact with Dan until one afternoon when he arrives at the loft to stay with Henry while both Blair and Serena go to work events. 

“Oh.” Dan smiles tensely when Serena opens the door. “Hey. Sorry. I, um, Blair texted she needed me to watch Henry?”

Serena nods, letting him in. “Yeah, that’s on me actually. One of my photo shoots got pushed up and I couldn’t arrange for a sitter in time. Thanks for covering for me.”

“No problem,” Dan says. “Is he...?”

“Oh, Harry’s in my room. I’ve given him free reign over my Disney+ account. Good news, he doesn’t wanna watch _The Sandlot_ on repeat anymore. Bad news, he is now he’s obsessed with _Rookie of the Year_.”

Dan lets out a small chuckle. “Um, are we...” he tucks his hands in his jeans’ pockets, not sure how to finish the sentence. 

“It’s...fine,” is the word Serena finally lands on. She glances at her watch, well aware that she doesn’t have time for a long discussion right now. “Look, like you said, we’re always gonna be family.”

“Yeah, it does seem like this marriage between our parents is gonna be the one to stick,” he jokes, trying to inject a little levity into the moment. 

Serena laughs at that. “Thanks again, Dan.”

“Bye, Serena.” 

* * *

After a few weeks, Dan moves out of Nate’s penthouse into his very own apartment on the Upper East Side, close to Rufus and Lily’s. 

It’s for a lot of reasons. He’s almost thirty now and he can’t keep living in Nate’s guest room forever. He’s decided to stay in the city, go back to writing freelance until he decides a more permanent career path, and so he wants a space that’s his own.

But mostly it feels like it’s time. 

They don’t explicitly talk about moving in together, but Dan makes sure it’s a place Blair loves, with an extra bedroom for Henry and plenty of space for all three of them.

He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t want to be presumptuous, but a guy can hope and dream...

“You know, this means I’m officially the one slumming it with a girl living in Brooklyn now,” Dan comments with a smirk one day when they’re plopped down on the couch. 

Blair slaps his chest. “Shut up, Humphrey,” she says, but she’s grinning when she presses a kiss to his lips. “I wanted to run something by you, actually.”

“Anything.” 

The openness of his reply prompts a smile out of Blair. “I’ve been thinking,” she starts, “we should tell Henry we’re dating.”

Dan winces. “Are you sure?”

“Do you not want to?” It’s only been a little over two months now, but their relationship feels stable enough. Solid. 

“I just...I don’t want him to hate me,” he admits. “That would break my heart.”

“Hey,” Blair reaches for his hand. “Henry loves you. Surely you must know that.”

“He loves _Uncle Dan_ ,” he clarifies, “I have a feeling he won’t love his mom’s new boyfriend.”

Nothing much had changed between Dan and Henry since he and Blair had started dating. 

They still play catch and Dan’s usually there to tuck him and read him a story. More than once, when Blair and Serena have to work late, he’ll stay at the loft with Henry and they’ll fall asleep watching movies together. 

Henry loves him, Dan knows, but he also knows that Henry loves his father, and Dan doesn’t want to interfere with that. 

“I’m not saying it’ll be easy,” Blair concedes. “He’s my son, after all, but...I want to do things right. I don’t want to lie to Henry, even if it’s only by omission.” 

Dan purses his lips then nods. “You’re right,” he agrees. “I’ve hated hiding this from him, too. Do you wanna tell him together?”

“That sounds good.” Blair smiles at that, the way his first instinct is always for them to act as a team. 

And though it certainly wasn’t planned, that’s the first time they have sex again. 

* * *

It’s not like they’d made a conscious decision to hold off on sex. 

Truthfully, they hadn’t talked about it since they’d gotten together. They hadn’t needed to. 

Dan let Blair set the pace, always more than content to kiss and make out and canoodle and everything in between, but also quick to respect her boundaries whenever she wanted to take things down a notch. 

Holding back has been a new concept for Blair. Wanting more has always been a part of her nature.

She already has all the money and position anyone could want, has had it since she was a child. Yet she has also always been pure, naked _striving_. Always restlessly seeking an object, any object, to make her _more_. Never truly knowing when enough is enough.

Now that she’s older, she can finally admit that she’s never particularly excelled at denying herself the things she truly wants. 

And god, does she _want_ Dan. 

* * *

They don’t even get off the couch, both desperate to touch each other more. 

It’s not like their first time, all fumbling and clumsy. He remembers where she likes to be touched and his mouth kisses and bites down on all her favorite spots. She loves that his hair is a little longer now, likes pulling it even though she’d never admit it to him. 

After, she’s lying on top of him, eyes closed as his fingers draw invisible patterns along the bare skin of her lower back. He presses a kiss to the top of her head and sighs happily. 

Suddenly, Blair is struck by an overwhelming feeling. She wishes Dan knew _more_. Wishes he knew everything. Wishes she could suddenly be brave enough to share it all with him, the good, the bad and the ugly.

That’s a desire Blair hasn’t felt often, or at all, to be honest. But Dan just made everything feel...

 _Safe_. 

She doesn’t want that ever end, rather wants that feeling to grow. So before she can second-guess herself, she sits up. 

“Can we talk?” It isn’t the most eloquent way to start the conversation, but it’ll do. 

Dan slides on his boxers and Blair pulls on his button-down, and they sit on the couch and she tells him the truth about her relationship with Chuck.

The fights and the yelling and the way that he had his PI’s tail her on ocassion. She shows him the scars: on her hand, her thighs, the largest one from when Chuck hurled a vase at the wall and it cut the back of her neck before she could duck. It’s the first time she’s ever laid it all bare, not even Nate has seen them all. 

“He never hit me,” she says. “Never laid a finger on me.”

It’s pointless to say it, she knows. He hurt her in so many other ways. But after all, it’s the scars that can’t be seen that have always hurt her the most. The way Chuck had always had of tearing her down with vicious words, zeroing in on the worst of her insecurities. 

Dan wants to say a lot of things then: how he should have fought for her, should have payed more attention, done something. But he doesn’t want to make it her responsibility to make him feel better about what she went through.

Instead, he reaches for her hand and presses a soft kiss to the scar on her palm. 

“I’m so sorry you went through all of that. What do you need?”

Blair blinks. “What?”

“Is there anything I can do for you,” Dan clarifies. “I just...” he swallows. “I want you to know you’re not alone in this. You know that, right? Blair, I-”

“I love you.” She cuts him off because she’s been wanting to say it first this time around.

It’s the first time she’s ever said it to him. In a way it feels like it’s too soon, but in so many others it feels like it’s been a near decade in the making. 

Dan beams at her. “Me, too,” he whispers before pressing his lips to hers. “I’ve always been in love with you, every minute. It’s always been you, Blair. For me, it’s _always_ been you.”

Blair brings a hand up to cup his cheek. “Sorry it took me so long to catch up, Humphrey,” she says, “but I’m ready to make up for lost time.”

* * *

Telling Henry goes over...about as well as could be expected, they suppose. 

Henry has questions, naturally. Mostly about how could Dan be mommy’s boyfriend and whether that meant he was still his Uncle Dan and whether mommy stopped loving daddy forever now. 

Both Dan and Blair do their best to answer honestly, but in the end Henry still sulks off to his room, claiming he has to pick up his toys. 

Serena walks in then, arms full of bags from Zabar’s.

“What’d I miss?” she asks with a beaming smile, as if that will somehow help dissipate the tension in the room. 

Blair moves to help her with the bags. “We just told Harry about us.” 

“It didn’t go over so well,” Dan adds, already making himself busy emptying out the groceries onto the kitchen island. 

“It never does the first time around,” Serena offers. “He‘s a good kid, and he loves you both. He’ll adapt to the change.” She reaches for Blair’s hand and gives it a squeeze. “We always did.”

* * *

While things aren’t necessarily the way they used to be, they’re at least relatively fine. 

Sure, Henry now prefers to play catch with Uncle Nate and get his bedtime stories from Aunt Serena, but Dan acts like a good sport about all of it. 

“Uncle Nate was an all-star, so fair enough,” he says the first Friday Henry doesn’t want to play with him. 

And: “Well, Aunt Serena does the voices better than I could, so I understand,” when Henry asks for her to read him _Harry Potter_ for bedtime. 

Dan never complains, but rather remains a constant yet unobtrusive part of Henry’s life. Seemingly content to babysit, and do school pick-ups and drop-offs, and attend his games without infringing on his space. 

Blair feels guilty, of course. As if by wanting Dan for herself she’s somehow deprived Henry of him. Deprived Dan of Henry, too. 

It’s Serena who pulls her out of that spiral. 

“You’re allowed to fall in love,” she says, “you’re allowed to want things for yourself. Harry will come around. He’s just stubborn right now.”

Blair smiles and nods and tries to make herself believe it. 

* * *

Nate and Serena start dating and get outed in the tabloids all in the same week. 

A paparazzi snaps pictures of Serena slipping out of the Empire in one of Nate’s shirts, easily identified because his initials are monogrammed in a small corner, along with a few shots of Nate running after her to bring her her heels and the quick goodbye kiss they shared before Serena got into a cab. 

“I’m just surprised you never mentioned it,” Blair comments casually in between bites of her salad. 

Nate rolls his eyes. “We wanted some time in our bubble. It’s always different when the world knows.” He steals a glance at his watch, not wanting to go over on his lunch break. 

Blair watches him for a beat and can’t help but to smile. He’d always been the Golden Boy, no one could argue that, but he’d also seemed so uncomfortable by it when they were growing up. Always stifled by the suits and the expectations and the pretense.

This Nate is different: comfortable in his own skin, a man, serious about his job, starting a relationship, settled into who he is.

Blair is _so_ proud of him. 

“I’m happy for you,” she says, her tone endearingly earnest now. “It’s been a long time coming, you and Serena.”

Nate can’t help the grin at the mention of Serena. Although to be fair, he’s never been able to, not since they were five years old. “I love her,” he says, like it’s a secret confession. “I really want this to work.”

“I’m rooting for you, always.”

“You know, happy’s a good look on you, Blair. You’re practically glowing.” Nate is similarly thrilled that two of his best friends are together, of course, but more than that he’s grateful that Blair seems more like herself than she has in years. 

“I’ve found my center again,” Blair shrugs, “that’s all.”

Nate can see what she doesn’t say and sighs. “S. told me Harry’s having a hard time with it,” he says. “He’ll come around, Blair.”

“So I’ve been told.” Blair forces a smile. Fake it til you make it. 

* * *

Henry spends the better part of a month without uttering more than monosyllabic sentences to Dan until the day he comes home from school itching all over and covered in rash.

There’s a spread of chicken pox at school, and neither Blair or Serena ever had it. Dan, however, had the chicken pox when he was ten. 

Much to Blair’s surprise, Henry had never had much of a temper, even as a baby. Always soft spoken and more likely to hole up with a book in the corner than he was to throw a tantrum. And yet, at finding out that he’s to go to stay at Uncle Dan’s place for a few days, he loses it. 

“Why can’t I go with daddy?” Henry near-shrieks. 

“Henry Nathaniel Bass, do not raise your voice at me.” Blair paces around her office, both desperate and annoyed that she has to have this conversation over the phone. “It’ll only be for a few days. You’ve stayed with Uncle Dan before, sweetheart. You always have fun.” 

And Chuck has left town during one his weekends with Henry, yet again. Blair doesn’t want to add that on top of everything else. 

“He’s not my uncle, he’s your _stupid boyfriend_.”

Blair sighs. “Sweetie...” She lets her voice trail off, unsure of what she can say to help right now.

Then she hears Dan step in and take the phone, but she can’t quite catch what he says. 

“Hey, it’s me,” he says, “I’ve got it under control. We’ll be fine.”

Blair knows him well enough to catch the way his tone is clipped even when he’s aiming for casual.

“Dan, I am _so_ sorry.”

 _For Henry saying that, for ruining the relationship between you two, for putting you in this position in the first place,_ Blair thinks it, but can’t bring herself to say it 

“You don’t ever have to apologize,” Dan replies. “He’s sick and upset, and you know taking care of him is never an imposition. I’ll call you to check in after he’s settled, okay?”

* * *

Dan had prepared his spare bedroom with Henry in mind: there’s bunk beds and a desk and a bookshelf filled with most of his favorites. He’d even gotten a Sandlot poster to go along with the baseball-themed wallpaper. 

Henry settles in without saying a word. 

“I know it itches, bud, but no scratching.” 

Dan covers him from head to toe in calamine lotion and makes him grilled cheese with homemade tomato soup. 

Blair texts every hour on the hour, FaceTiming multiple times a day. She trusts Dan completely, but she’s never been away from Henry when he’s sick before. 

* * *

One night, when Dan’s tucking Henry in on the top bunk for the night, he decides to address the elephant in the room. 

“Harry,” he starts, and he can’t quite believe he’s this nervous talking to a six-year-old, “I know I’m not your favorite person in the world right now, but I do love you. No matter what, kiddo.”

Henry blinks, tugging on his blankets as he ponders that over. “I don’t hate you, Uncle Dan,” he says finally. 

It’s far from a ringing endorsement, but it’s the first time Henry’s called him “Uncle Dan” in months, and that alone makes Dan smile. 

“Want me to read you a bedtime  
story or are you good?”

“Can we finish _Prisoner of Azkaban_?”

“Yeah,” Dan nods. 

He’s missed reading with Henry the most. 

But more importantly, it’s a start: Henry doesn’t hate him. 

Dan will take what he can get. 

* * *

By the time Henry’s in the clear, they’ve settled into a better semblance of their old rhythm. 

They play video games and watch Aunt Serena’s Disney+ and they read together every night.

During one of the fevers, Henry had even snuck into bed with Dan and they’d slept together all day. 

Dan constantly texts Blair updates, not just about Henry’s health, but about how much more comfortable he is being with Dan now. He’d worried he was being a little intense, but Blair beamed every single time he told her about any progress. 

* * *

It’s a month later when Dan casually comments, “I’ve been thinking...maybe you guys could move in with me.”

They’re at Serendipity 3, getting frozen hot chocolate to celebrate Henry’s team making it to the finals. 

Blair freezes mid sip when the words sink in. 

It shouldn’t come as a surprise, not really. They’ve been staying at Dan’s apartment 4 nights a week now. It’s comfortable and they’ve all settled into a routine.

Blair has taken over half of Dan’s office/study, her favorite books lingering on his bookshelves and her favorite Chagall painting hanging on the wall.

Henry has his own bedroom and has already moved in about half his toys in. He plays with Dan every other day now, and they’re working their way up to going to the batting cages. 

The only surprising thing, really, is how Blair doesn’t want to hesitate. She wants to say _yes_.

“What do you think, sweetheart?” she asks, running a hand through Henry’s hair. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

Henry pouts as if he’s in deep thought. “Can I still have sleepovers with Auntie S. sometimes?”

Blair laughs at that. “Of course.”

“Then okay.”

“Just like that?” Dan asks him with a grin. 

Henry nods. “My room is bigger at your place,” he says sagely. “Can we practice on the weekends, too?”

“Absolutely, kiddo,” Dan agrees. “You’re gonna kill it at the finals.”

They fist bump to seal the deal and Dan looks at Blair. “How about it? You ready to return to the Upper East Side?”

“No,” Blair replies, “but I’m ready to come home to you.”

Dan smiles, leaning across the table to peck her lips. “It’s never really been home when you guys aren’t there.”

* * *

It takes an entire weekend to pack everything up from the loft. Mostly because both Blair and Serena are dragging their feet a bit about it, neither one entirely ready for this chapter of their lives to end. 

“I couldn’t have gotten through this last year without you,” Blair says as she tapes up the last box. 

Serena flashes her one of her ethereal smiles. “You absolutely could have,” she says. “But I’m happy I got to be by your side through it all. And I’ll miss this, coming home to you and Harry.”

“He’s already asked for sleepover privileges, by the way.”

Serena laughs, even as her eyes tear up a bit. “I’ll keep his bedroom ready for him. He’s welcome anytime.” She wipes the corner of her eye. “I feel like an idiot for getting so emotional right now. Nothing’s gonna change, you’re just moving uptown.”

But Blair understands, her own eyes shiny with tears, too. “You’re never an idiot,” she assures Serena before pulling her into a hug. “I feel the same way. I love you, S. Always and forever.”

Serena smiles at the words. They’d both said them before - Blair to Nate, Serena to Dan - but never actually to each other. And yet...this is the one time they ring the most true.

“ _Always and forever_ ,” Serena concurs, squeezing her tighter. “So many years, all the boys and the drama, but it always came back to us. You’re the love of my life, B. My better half.”

“And also your worst,” Blair adds. “At least on occasion. I wouldn’t be me without you.”

For so long, they’d felt like too trees growing too close to each other, one always in the other’s shadow, never enough sunlight for them both. 

But now they both only know to be grateful for the fact their roots will always be tangled together. 

Neither one would have it any other way. 

* * *

Domesticity feels wonderful. 

Dan attempts to learn how to cook, and he’s actually not half bad. At least not after 3 months of trial and error.

Blair takes to working from home more often. It’s always been one of her favorite things, the fact that she can work next to Dan in peaceful silence without it ever being awkward or stifling.

Henry seems to adjust fairly well. He seems to thrive under all the regular, undivided attention from Dan. He never complains, but Blair can tell how hurt he is every time Chuck fails to follow through on their plans together. 

It’s all going smoothly until one afternoon when Dan’s picking Henry up from baseball practice. 

There’s a Father/Son game scheduled for the next weekend. “Harry, don’t forget to give your dad the permission slip,” the coach says, handing Dan a flyer. 

It’s a quick interaction, but Dan is quick to look to Henry and attempt to reassure him.

“We can call Chuck up,” he offers. “Check if he’s free to come play. I don’t have to come if you don’t want me to.”

Henry fiddles with the mitt in his hands, looking at his sneakers intently. “Timothy Scott Tompkinson has two dads,” he points out, still avoiding eye contact. “I thought...maybe I could have two dads, too. Daddy’s always busy, but you’re home. The team thinks you’re my dad. And you’re always at the games. So you could maybe play with me this time.”

Dan swallows, unable to keep the smile off his face. “That’s fine with me,” he replies, attempting to keep his voice even. “If you really want to. There’s no pressure, buddy.”

“I mean...you’re coming to the game, right? So we can finally play together in a real field. And _maybe_...I could call you dad, too sometimes...”

“I love you, Harry.” Dan kneels in front of him so he can look him in the eye. “You can definitely call me dad whenever you want.”

* * *

When Blair arrives home that night, Henry’s in the living room couch watching _The Perfect Game._

“Dad, we need more popcorn,” he calls out. 

Blair looks to Dan, raising an eyebrow in surprise. “ _Dad_?” she mouths to him. 

Dan nods, tilting his head towards the kitchen so he can explain in private. 

It’s not exactly a surprise that the coaches and the kids on the team would think Dan is Henry’s father.

After all, Dan never misses a game and he’s always seen together with Blair. Not to mention the fact that Chuck has yet to make good on his word of going to see Henry pitch. 

“And then he asked if he could call me dad and I just said yes.” Dan is in hyper-verbal mode, going a mile a minute. “I thought later that I should have cleared that with you, but he was so nervous and I was so shocked when he asked, I just - what?” he pauses mid-rant when he notices she’s staring at him. 

Blair grabs his face and kisses him. “I’m fine with it. More than fine,” she says. “I love you.”

* * *

They get married in Amagansett Beach during the summer. 

“I still can’t believe you’re marrying _Blair Waldorf_ ,” Jenny comments while she watches her brother comb his hair every which way. 

“I love her, Jen,” Dan says, his voice steady. “I love her and Harry, and I want to spend the rest of my life making them happy.”

Jenny smiles; she doesn’t think she’s ever heard him sound so assured in his life. “Let me,” she says, walking over and swatting his hands off his tie. “Blair will kill you if she walks up to find you with a crooked tie.” She does up the tie, a perfect double-Windsor knot. “There, you’re all set.”

Dan turns to check it out in the mirror. “Blair likes to tie it for me.”

“Well, I get little sister’s dibs today,” Jenny replies. “One last time.”

Dan pulls her into a hug, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “I love you, Jen.” He pulls back to look her in the eye then. “And after today, Blair is officially part of the Humphrey clan. For good. _This_ is the family I want.”

“I will treat her accordingly,” Jenny replies with a smile. “I promise.”

Dan lets out a breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding. “You know, technically you’re an aunt now, too. Harry’s awesome, you’ll love him.”

Jenny laughs, says, “I feel like I already know the kid. You send enough videos and pictures of everything he does.” She takes in the proud look on her brother’s face and punches his shoulder. “Lame Dad is a good look on you, bro.”

* * *

Serena helps Blair into her dress and does the finishing touches on her makeup. 

It’s not what Blair ever pictured for herself, three weddings and two divorces before turning 35, but she’s too happy to care about that right now. 

“You look amazing, B.” Serena pulls back to take in the whole picture and she smiles at the sight. 

The wedding gown is Vera Wang, beautiful and not too gaudy. Blair is wearing her hair down, no headbands and no tiaras. Her makeup isn’t heavy handed, nothing to conceal the way she’s been naturally beaming for the past three months since Dan had proposed. 

“I can’t believe we’re doing this,” Blair says on a sigh. “I’m getting married. _Again_.”

Serena laughs, “To _Dan Humphrey._ Who ever would’ve thought it?”

“I’m so happy, S.”

Serena pulls her in for a hug, pressing a kiss to the side of her head. “It shows.”

* * *

It’s Eleanor who walks Blair down the aisle this time around. 

Nate stands as Dan’s best man, a small part of him always surprised to be attending Blair’s wedding and not being the groom as it had been scripted for so many years when they were kids. 

He can’t take his eyes off Serena throughout the whole ceremony. Can’t help thinking, “ _I want this with you_ ,” every time she smiles his way. 

Henry’s suit matches Dan’s, right down to the tie, and he holds the rings. He fists-bumps Dan when he hands them over.

Cyrus officiates the ceremony, holding their hands together at the end and advising, “ _Be kind, be fair, be true, and be patient_ ,” before pronouncing them husband and wife. 

Blair links her wrists around Dan’s neck when they kiss and he can’t help dipping her back Hollywood style. Everyone hoots and claps. 

Henry runs up to hug them and they sweep him up between them. They look at each other, all three smiling. 

The photographer captures the moment and it’s their first official family picture. 

* * *

Rufus actually tears up during the reception, still processing that his son is a married man with a family now.

Lily smiles, hugging the newlyweds before handing them an envelope with a check. Dan knows better than to turn it down by now. This is how his stepmother marks the big moments, and he’s come to accept the gesture as it’s intended. 

“You actually _married_ Blair Waldorf.” Erik hands Dan a drink, sitting next to him at the table. “I always had a feeling about you two.”

Dan tilts his head and shrugs. “You were always wise beyond your years,” he says before taking a sip. 

When it’s time to throw the bouquet, Blair isn’t at all subtle about tossing it Serena’s way and winking at Nate. 

It’s the textbook definition of a perfect day. 

* * *

  
“Do you want to have a baby?”

Blair blurts out the question in the middle of brunch one morning apropos of absolutely nothing.

Dan furrows his brow. “ _What_?”

“We’ve never talked about it.” Blair shrugs. “I was just wondering. Do you wish we’d have our own baby?”

Dan flashes her a smile. “We _do_ ,” he presses a kiss to her forehead. “I’m not opposed to expanding our family, if that’s something you’d want. But as far as I’m concerned, we already have a son. And I’m entirely biased here, but I have to say he’s a pretty perfect kid.”

Their life, their family, is enough for Dan. Blair can look at him and know he’s being sincere.

It always floods her with a sense of peace, looking into her lover’s eyes to see that they do not find her (or the life and family they’ve built together) wanting in any way. 

“You’re right,” she agrees, “we do have a perfect kid together.”

It’s the first time in her life that Blair feels completely content in every possible way. 

Like she couldn’t possibly ask for _more_. 


End file.
